DEAR ABBY: I am a working stay-at-home mom with a successful career. I am also the primary breadwinner. My husband doesn’t work so he can take care of our baby girl full time.

To give me quiet time, my husband often takes her to the mall or someplace fun so I can concentrate. A problem has arisen, though. Since he’s alone with our daughter, he’s run into problems with security guards who think he’s kidnapping her or doing something suspicious. We’re not sure what to do about this.

I obviously don’t want there to be problems for him, especially since I am not physically able to drive and come to meet him if there’s a misunderstanding. Can you tell me the most reliable way to prove that he’s our daughter’s father and holds no nefarious intent? — CONCERNED WIFE AND MAMA

DEAR CONCERNED W&M: While this scenario seems incredible to me, if he isn’t already doing so, your husband should start carrying family pictures of the two of you and your daughter when he takes her out. That way, if there is any question that your husband is her father, it can be quickly resolved.

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DEAR ABBY: My sister invited our mother, who is in her 70s, to my wedding dress fittings. I did not invite her.
I have forgiven my mother for the crappy environment she created for us while I was growing up. I always invite her to family gatherings although she remains demeaning, demoralizing and bitter. My mother can last about an hour in my company without saying something negative and snarky, and I don’t want her to ruin this fun occasion.


She knows how I feel about her attitude around me. I don’t call or talk to her unless there is a family emergency. I normally grin and bear it on holidays for my sister’s sake. My sister has a mental illness, and our mom is an almost daily presence in her life, which I appreciate, as I live in another state. Must I suck it up again for my sister’s sake? — GETTING MARRIED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR GETTING MARRIED: Permit your mother to be present for the first fitting. If, as you predict, she becomes negative and snarky, concentrate on the fitting, then inform her — and your sister afterward — that she will not be welcome to join you for another one.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 23-year-old senior in college. I came out as gay at 21, but still haven’t found a boyfriend. I had a crush on one guy and thought he liked me back, but a few weeks ago he told me he has a boyfriend. I was heartbroken.

People have always told me it’s great to be single, but the truth is I’m just not happy. I’m lonely and I want a boyfriend. I’m having no luck, and I don’t know what to do. Help, please. — SO READY IN TEXAS

DEAR SO READY: Look around and scope out what opportunities there are for an LGBTQ person in your college town. Get out and be sociable. Join an activity group if you have the time. If nothing suits you, go online and research dating sites and apps. However, if you don’t find someone there, you may have to be patient for another year until you can move to a community that offers greater options.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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