It’s International Beer Day!

Which, OK, honestly, means very little at Bliss. While Maine has troves of great craft brewers, we’re pretty- or cool-can art buyers at best. That said, support the local economy. Bottom’s up!

In the next week, however, there is also a trove of national days we can get behind and buy Maine.

Don’t let National Mustard Day catch you flat-footed or un-dogged.

National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day, Aug. 8: No porch? No neighbors? No fear. Let Blackie’s Farm Fresh Produce in Auburn hook you up, where zucchini are $1 each and there’s still online ordering available for curbside pickup.

Should your mouse wander at checkout to the Great Northern Fudge handmade in South Paris, well, there are worse wanders.

Metro Creative Services

National Book Lovers Day, Aug. 9: Get thee to Goodwill! Stroll into the Auburn store or find Goodwill books online, such as Alex Tanous’ “Is Your Child Psychic?” for $1.70 (well, are they?), Stephen King’s “Umney’s Last Case” for $5.65, Brinna Sands’ “The King Arthur Flour 200th Anniversary Cookbook” for $3.75 and the Bathroom Readers’ Institute’s “Uncle John’s Weird, Weird World: Who, What, Where, When, and Wow!” for $1.05, which feels like an amazing use of $1.05.

And in case we both just discovered there’s a Bathroom Readers’ Institute, it describes itself thusly:

“Since 1988, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom (and anywhere else, for that matter). Our crack staff works year-round to bring you the publishing industry’s most absorbing anthologies of history, humor, origins, flops, fads, quotes, puzzles, kids’ stuff, and more.”

You’re welcome.

National Mustard Day, Aug. 7: So. Many. Choices. There’s a Stonewall Kitchen four-pack (sweet honey mustard, horseradish mustard, Maine maple champagne mustard, caramelized onion mustard, $22.10) that sounds divine. Also, clearly, maple champagne mustard is for when you have company over and use all the matching plates.

Raye’s Mustard — making mustard since 1900! — offers a 10-pack, six-pack or four-pack, all three with free shipping, upping the mustard ante. It also has Raye’s Mustard Zucchini Relish, which, mic drop — two national days in one.

Pair with a Maine “red snapper” frankfurter from Bangor’s W. A. Bean & Sons, which in 2009 made its 4 millionth hot dog, and that sounds like one historic Maine lunch.

National S’mores Day, Aug. 10: There’s simple and sweet — a bag of marshmallows, a six-pack of Hershey bars and a box of grams, gathered around your fire pit/bonfire/microwave (no judgment) — OR shake things up and track down a pint of Gelato Fiasco’s Torched Marshmallow S’more and Gifford’s Campfire S’mores ice cream.

There’s s’no going wrong either way.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who, call them old fashioned, stand by a simple box of ALPO Variety Snaps Little Bites for National Spoil Your Dog Day) and the customer service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]


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