A friend and I were discussing the challenges young men face today. I said that it’s important for older men to praise younger men, but couldn’t remember the source for that idea. Wasn’t it from a Bill Moyers interview?

I got a copy of Moyers’ book, A World of Ideas, and skimmed interview after interview, hoping to stumble across the right one. No joy. So I changed tactics. There is a Bill Moyers website that lists many of the people he interviewed. Alas, none of them was the one I was looking for.

The bulldog in me was aroused, and letting go was not an option. If the interview wasn’t on Moyers’ website, it must be lurking elsewhere on the Internet. Maybe it wasn’t Moyers who did the interview. If not, then who? After 45 minutes of searching, my bulldog nose was getting fatigued.

Suddenly my brain latched onto a memory. Years ago, hadn’t I found a cassette tape in a used book store? A tape of Moyers interviewing a poet? And hadn’t I been so impressed that I’d written a column about it?

My writing is stored in a database that is easily searched. I typed in Moyers and there it was, a column of mine from 2005.

The guy who had proposed the idea was a poet from Minnesota named Robert Bly. And the interview wasn’t in Moyers’ book, it was — give a doggy howl — on a cassette tape called “A Gathering of Men.”

I no longer have that cassette, but I’d quoted extensively from it in my column. Bly said that many young men don’t know a single older man who encourages them, who cares about them and lets them know.

“I never realized that younger men needed anything that I had to give them,” he told Moyers. “I didn’t realize that they are hungry and thirsty for a simple connection to an older man that’s not shaming. What do older men say? ‘Clean up your room.’ ‘You did this wrong.’ ‘You had to stay after school.’ ‘You’re foolish.’ ‘You’re stupid.'”

Bly said, “(An) important thing you can do is be open to younger men and realize they can use a blessing from you.”

I’ve quoted Robert Bly, now let me quote myself.

In my 2005 column, I wrote: “Expressing praise and admiration for men who are younger than I am is an inexpensive and easy way to do some good in this world.”

At the end of the column, I gave this admonition: “If you are an older man, find a younger man, be he 10 or 20 or 35, and find some way to praise and admire him. Do it this week.”

Robert Bly died on Nov. 21, 2021, at age 94. I’m sorry I’d forgotten about his (and my own) important advice.

Search billmoyers.com for “Bly” to find a transcript of “A Gathering of Men.”

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