DEAR ABBY: The other day in one of my classes, our teacher was discussing a rather delicate subject, and we were all laughing. I really needed to pass gas, but was trying to hold it in.

Well, our teacher made a comment that sent me over the edge, and I let out a long, loud fart. Everyone in the class heard it.

I know I shouldn’t be so thin-skinned, but the comments the other students made were extremely hurtful and embarrassing, and I wanted to curl up and die. I’m capable of laughing at myself, but the comments my classmates made were not the kind that I could easily laugh along with.

Please, Abby, how do you deal with a situation like this? – FRAGRANT FLOWER IN KANSAS

DEAR FRAGRANT FLOWER: What happened to you has happened to everyone at one time or another. The way it’s usually handled is by trying to ignore it, or by pointing to someone else and asking, “Did YOU expel gas?” However, since you were caught dead to rights and there was no escaping it, my advice is to just let the episode blow over.



DEAR ABBY: We belong to a couples group that meets once a month for a game of cards. We take turns at each other’s homes. When the games are in our homes, we provide the refreshments.

One couple – both of whom are professionals – always asks the rest of us to bring potluck dishes. This has become a regular practice for them.

We need a nice way to let them know we feel they’re taking advantage of the rest of us. They can well afford to have the gathering catered or prepare the meal themselves. What do you suggest? – TIRED OF BRINGING A DISH

DEAR TIRED: The next time you and the rest of the group are asked to bring a dish, tell the couple that it “isn’t convenient.” If they hear it from all of you, they may get this hint. If they don’t, then you should tell them what you have told me because it does appear that you’re being taken advantage of. The alternative is to deal those jokers out.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to say thank you. I was reading your online archives and found the answer to my problem there. Usually the question you get is, “What should I tell people when they ask me when we’re going to have a kid?” Well, mine is the opposite.

My mother and mother-in-law ask me when I’m going to get my tubes tied! My husband and I have only two children. We make good money, and we don’t ask our parents to baby-sit. Our children are intelligent and well-behaved.

Usually you tell people to ignore the question or say, “Why do you ask?” Those responses didn’t work for me. But recently you advised someone to respond, “If it were any of your business, you would already know the answer to that question.” Abby, that one worked for me! They both said I was rude to answer them like that. But when I told them so was their question, they got the hint. So, once again, thank you very much. – GRATEFUL IN PALMDALE, CALIF.

DEAR GRATEFUL: You’re welcome. I don’t usually print the thank-you letters I receive for my advice, but I’m making an exception with yours because the question you were asked was so far out of line. You can’t expect people to respect boundaries if they don’t know where they are.



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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