Mainecare vs. opioids

This was a headline on Wednesday’s front page and you have to admit that it creates a nice visual. Me, I picture a frowning, suited, stuffed shirt in one corner, a sleepy-eyed poppy plant nodding on a stool in the other. One has the sprawling power of the government behind him, the other is propped up by the medical magic of nature. Red tape on one side, red eyes on the other. Now that I think of it, it sounds a bit like a Trump vs. Sanders bout, too.

Facebook expands reaction options

Good. Maybe this will spare us all the awkwardness of “liking” a post wherein somebody has reported that her great aunt Josephine has died of a rare fungus while vacationing in Belize. Don’t judge me, Agnus. We’ve all done it. It’s like accidentally asking a woman when she’s due, when, in fact, she’s not even pregnant. We’ve all been there too. It’s very unfortunate.

Tell me how you feel?

With the new Facebook upgrade – really, those people just don’t stop giving – users now have access to a wider range of human emotions, including “love,” “sad,” “wow,” “haha” and “angry.” This is the future, people. Gone are the days when we had to bang our fists, drop our jaws, weep inefficient tears or propose to someone in order to profess our love. Frankly, I say good riddance to those clumsy times.

Doing it old school

Of course, my Facebook page hasn’t yet updated so I may have to occasionally pet you on the head, wag my finger at you or kiss you on the lips in order to adequately express how I feel. If we all can show a little patience, we’ll get through this difficult and ugly time together. Determined expression here.

Don’t make me dislike you, man

On the other hand, Facebook opted not to offer a “dislike” button for their users, explaining that such a move would “encourage bullying and negativity.” It’s frightening just to think about such a thing. “Look, kid. Either you give me your lunch money or I’m going to wait for you after school and dislike your comments.” How we survived the time before Facebook is beyond me.

Seeing red. And also blue, marigold and periwinkle

Since our adult coloring piece ran a week ago, many of you have asked whether I have personally taken up the hobby. I tried, I really did. But I kept drawing outside the lines, my colors kept blending in atrocious ways and the pages kept tearing. Very frustrating. Looking back on it, maybe I should have waited until I was out of the shower before giving it a try.