FARMINGTON – Ten years ago, the short life of Jamie Beth Shible came to an end. One night she attended her prom, and the next she was gone. Bacterial meningitis snuffed the life from her body, but her parents make sure her spirit endures.

Although the grieving process is endless for her parents, Stephen and Julie Shible say they’ve gained wisdom and purpose as they help others and keep her memory alive.

“I’ve learned a lot about life and death from Jamie,” Stephen said. “How she lived with lupus and persevered to live a normal life and how fragile life is, and now what matters most is to connect with others and to help someone else who is also grieving.”

The carefree life comes to an end, he said. When someone in your life is gone, there’s a heaviness that stays with you.

“Shortly after her death, it became apparent that I was never going to forget my daughter, but I’ve forgotten how life was like when she was alive. Life takes a complete change,” he said.

Stephen, director of parks and recreation for Farmington, and Julie, who works for the state Child Development Services, continue to think of others as they work through their own grief.

“I go to funerals of other children even when I didn’t know them. I go for the parents,” Stephen said. “When we connect eye to eye, the parent knows that I’ve been there. There’s a connection that passes from one set of parents to another.”

They also try to keep their daughter’s memory alive. They developed a scholarship for cheerleaders, created a cheerleading camp, and give an annual award for the most improved cheerleading team in the KVAC high school tournament. Edward Little, Stephen’s alma mater, has won the award the last two years.

“We’ve allowed each other to grieve in our own ways,” Julie said, “yet we’re there to support each other.”

Julie facilitates groups at Camp Ray of Hope, a weekend camping experience run through the Waterville Hospice for people who are grieving. She also became a trained hospice volunteer.

Stephen shares his story with psychology professor Bertram Jacob’s “death and dying course at the University of Maine at Farmington each semester. Sharing his story with music, readings and a video, the class becomes powerful and emotional, he said.

“It’s one way to reach people and relate how we were received after we loss Jamie,” he said. “People tend to avoid. They just don’t know how to approach grieving. Friends have taken another aisle in the grocery store when they see us coming. They don’t want to hurt our feelings.”

But the Shibles say they need the opportunity to talk about their daughter. Stephen said he hopes to teach students by putting them in “our scenario” and letting them know that it’s OK to extend themselves to someone else.

“Steve does a phenomenal job,” Jacob said. “He keeps the 150-plus students riveted to their seats. I can’t watch his presentation without crying. The loss is so substantial when a child dies.”

Jacob said he asks Stephen to speak because he shows students how important they are to their families. They see a parent suffering through the worse experience a parent can bear.

“Young people don’t realize how important they are, so they do stupid stuff,” he said. “I think Steve should take what he does and take it around the country as it shows them how valued they are.”