The Winter Olympics have been taking it on the chin these last couple of weeks.

Cold-hearted cynics have been taking a swipe at the Games every chance they get, treating them like the ugly stepchild of the older, more popular Summer Olympics.

I can’t quite put my finger on the reason why, but I’ve taken the criticism personally. I’ve never laced up a pair of ice skates in my life, never wedged my size 15s into ski bindings. I’ve jumped on a sled and hurtled down a few big hills in my day, but never while wearing spandex. I’ve never executed a salchow or a triple Lutz. Yet the chilly reception for the Winter Olympics is confirming my belief that Americans are miserable when they don’t have something to complain about.

My preference for the below freezing Olympics probably goes back to the first Winter Olympics I can remember, the 1980 Lake Placid Games. I was 10, and that was, of course, the year of the “Miracle on Ice.” It was also the year Eric Heiden swept the gold in all five speed skating events. You can’t top those two for compelling television viewing.

Keep in mind that the U.S. boycotted the Summer Olympics in Moscow that same year, so my first exposure to the summer games wasn’t until the 1984 Los Angeles Games. I pretty much missed those Olympics. I was at basketball camp for half of them, playing sandlot baseball for the other half.

And that’s the thing that I don’t get when it comes to people, particularly people from the Northeast, bashing the Winter Olympics while lavishing praise on the Summer Olympics.

I mean, shouldn’t you be outside during the Summer Olympics? And is there really anything else to do during the Winter Olympics? Besides, skating and skiing, that is. And if you’re really into those things, shouldn’t you be that much more interested in watching the best in the world do their thing?

The Winter Olympics are superior to their bloated big brother, and to prove it, here’s an event-by-event comparison:

Team sports

Ice hockey vs. Basketball: Olympic hockey has “The Miracle on Ice.” Basketball has the 1972 gold medal game that was rigged for the U.S.S.R. Ice hockey has Jim Craig looking for his father in the stands at Lake Placid. Basketball has Charles Barkley elbowing an Angolan. America invented basketball and everybody hates us. Canada invented ice hockey and everybody wants them to win, especially Janet Jones.

Edge: Winter Olympics.

Bobsled vs. Rowing: Jamaica is surrounded by water, but did the Jamaican rowing team ever have a movie made about it? Didn’t think so.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Individual sports

Skiing vs. Swimming: One mistake by a downhill racer and he could end up dead or paralyzed. One mistake by a swimmer and he already has a half-dozen future lifeguards in the pool with him.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Snowboarding vs. Weightlifting: Weightlifters get busted for performance-enhancing drugs manufactured in some San Francisco lab. Snowboarders get busted for drugs they bought from some guy named Ziggy in Haight-Ashbury.

Edge: Push

Individual -ahem-“sports”

Ice skating vs. Gymnastics: No man will ever admit to watching either of these events to his poker buddies. Yet the Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan skating duel during the 1994 Olympics is the sixth-highest rated program in television history.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Freestyle skiing vs. Synchronized swimming: Freestyle skiers must perform aerial maneuvers, and their knees must endure bouncing over countless moguls. Synchronized swimmers must hold their breath for a really long time.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Sports involving weapons

Biathlon vs. Shooting: Cross country skiing with guns vs. “Here are your goggles and your pistol. Go shoot at that clay thing over there.” All I know is this – as long as we know how to ski, the terrorists will never win.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Obscure sports

Curling vs. Modern Pentathlon: To compete in the modern pentathlon, you need to be proficient at shooting, fencing, swimming, running and show jumping. To compete in curling, you need to be proficient with a broom.

Edge: Winter Olympics

Face it. The Summer Olympics jumped the shark in 1972. They’ve become too big, too political and they’re making ballroom dancing a sport, for crying out loud.

The Winter Olympics haven’t lost their quaintness. They’re a nice alternative to the Pro Bowl, meaningless NBA games and American Idol. Nothing more. Nothing less. That’s all we need them to be.

Randy Whitehouse is a staff writer. He can be reached by e-mail at [email protected]