So, I put on my writing sweater, lit up my pipe and sat down to pound out this week’s Street Talk. Suddenly, I was stricken with a sense of horror that sounded something like this: OH, MY GOD! I’VE BEEN WRITING THIS COLUMN FOR 10 YEARS! THERE’S NO WAY I CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHING […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Why does Mark look that way?
Lewiston welfare fraud! I’ve got nothing much to add to the story, but what about that front page photo, huh? I haven’t seen that many glum, angry faces all together like that since my wife told her family we were getting married. Fiddleheads! Somebody somewhere is trying to tighten restrictions for people who pick fiddleheads […]
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Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: I’m back. What’d I miss?
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I went off on some rosy screed about how spring was here and we could all thumb our noses at winter and say neener-neener? Yeah, well it’s been freezing cold ever since, there’s been another blast of snow and I’ve done a complete worm turn on it. Winter […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Shaving your head for a sick kid is a cut above
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: By golly, Mark. You work so hard and do so much for the community. How do you find the time to keep your hair so shimmering and full-bodied? Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m stupid. You know who else has great hair? A nice […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town
Byron rejects mandatory guns The news was first reported as white smoke seen billowing over the town hall. Foxy lady Others signal key events in their lives by letting mange-addled wildlife into their homes. Hey, there’s a world beyond Twitter, you know. O’ happy dagger! So, I watched the 1968 Franco Zeffirelli version of “Romeo […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Riffing on an orgy of March metaphors
I’m so excited I could tinkle. This extra hour of daylight is better than a free flea-dunk with every deworming down at Paws and Claws. Better than that little bowl of au jus that comes with the 16-ounce prime rib. Better than the lollipop the mouth doctor gives you after yanking your teeth and stealing […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Mark isn’t making this up — maybe
The right to arm bears When I first read about the proposal to make guns mandatory in Sabattus – and now Byron – I thought the Sun Journal had turned into The Onion. And frankly, I welcomed it. Real-world headlines are such a bore. I’ve always said that newspapering would be much more fun if […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Street Talk: Things to say about me when I’m dead
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The coolest comment I’ve ever heard while writing an obituary feature was this: “Mike played a hell of a game of Foosball.” The remark, ten words of poetry, stands out among all others, a glorious example of how to describe a person who has passed so […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Mark cries fowl
Bok! Bok! At Forage in Lewiston, they’re selling a variety of cool hats. My hands-down favorite is a rooster cap, which can transform an ordinary human head into something that resembles a barnyard fowl. I ask you: Does it get any more fun than that? No sir, it does not. So, why am I walking […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
For the good of the relationship, pretend you get these metaphors
We have a lot of fun, you and I. We exchange witty emails and jab at one another on Facebook. We share our hopes, our dreams and occasional bacterial infections. We have this connection, you and I, that pivots on a pair of weekly newspaper columns and it works well. But the relationship is in […]