How it used to work: I’m roaming the streets of Lewiston in my infection-red Geo Tracker. There’s a big hole in the dash where the radio used to be but that’s OK. I have a cassette player sitting on the passenger seat (you can even dub tapes with this baby) and it’s cranking Toad the […]
Mark LaFlamme
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Talk of the town
The poor dear To the nice lady at Shaw’s who said, and I quote: “Every time I see you in here, I feel like I’m seeing a celebrity. Put that in your little article.” Okay, here it is: I think you got a hold of a bad banana. We’re going to get you some help. […]
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What could possibly go wrong in a dunk tank?
The Taser sucked because it was five long seconds of bone-shuddering pain, but you know what? The elf costume was somehow worse. The elf costume was three hours in tights, curly shoes and eye makeup. Three hours of pointing and laughing at the mall and the realization that you’re probably ruining Christmas for a hundred […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town
Good deed for the day. But not today. Driving out Main Street in Lewiston one recent afternoon, I beheld a sight that warmed my heart and stuff. A young man, with a strong jaw and a smile at the ready, guiding a woman of advanced age across the street. You just don’t see that kind […]
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Exotic fish disease and other rainy-day fun!
Good morning, fish. You may have noticed that your newspaper floated to your doorstep this morning folded in the shape of a sailboat. This is how we bring you the news these days. Since our delivery people haven’t yet developed the gills and fins required to make their rounds, we’re innovating. You’re welcome. It sure […]
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Talk of the town
Change your ways Glad nobody was hurt when cars plowed over a utility pole at Bartlett and East in Lewiston on Wednesday. But man, if you’ve got to disable a set of traffic lights anywhere, that’s a good place to start. It’s one of the many lights around the city that won’t change for motorcycles, […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town
Yoink! The State of Maine, a nasty little welsher, has rescinded on its promise to hand over $300,000 to Auburn schools. This comes as no surprise to me. The State of Maine once promised it would buy all my drinks at the club one night after I helped it move out of its crappy apartment. […]
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Street Talk: The Rest of the Story
So you think you know Lewiston. You subscribe to the local news feeds. You keep your ear on the police scanner and you never miss one of Ernie Edwards downtown photos on Facebook. Way to go, Cronkite. But I’m telling you, you’re only getting half the picture. The fun half is typically missing from the […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town
BFF Got an email from Barack Obama the other day. The subject line: “My best friend.” So there you have it. Me and Barack are apparently besties. We’re going bowling later. He doesn’t know this yet. Doppelganger On East Avenue in Lewiston the other day, I saw a man who looked quite a lot […]
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Street Talk: Sleeping in because now I can
The shooting on Knox Street nearly killed me. One man was dead, three locals were arrested and the city crack trade was in chaos. The feds were in town trying to pick off the big dealers while everyone was scrambling. There were so many home invasions, people started tying themselves to chairs just to save […]