Did you know that scorpions glow in the dark? Did you know an adult male can jump 6 feet and run screaming at 30 mph? These fun facts and more follow my two-week vacation out West. You got my postcard, right? Because I sent it. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Damn postal service. […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Street Talk: You have ways of making me talk
I think it’s only fair to tell you that I’m picturing every one of you in your underwear. A few of you should go put on robes. A few of you should not. I’m glad we’re all mature adults and can tackle these kinds of issues. The issue here being my absolute loathing of public […]
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Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Street Talk: Campaign season already?
Wait, what? It’s a presidential election year again? You’ve got to be kidding me. I mean, I just put on my smoking jacket and lit my pipe. I was leaning back in my easy chair and thinking: OK, we’ve got a new president. Let’s see what this fellow is all about. Four years? Seriously? I […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Street Talk: I don’t like Sundays
I’ve never been able to enjoy Sundays. You could put a troop of juggling monkeys, a water slide and a Ferris wheel in my backyard. You could set me up with a team of dancing girls, a go-cart track and a half-mile strip of Venice Beach. No go. If it’s Sunday, I’m just not down […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Street Talk: In 17 minutes I’ll be smart again
I would appreciate it this morning if you could refrain from asking me for the capital of Utah. It would likewise be helpful if you could avoid hitting me up for lyrics to obscure old songs, such as “Run, Joey Run” or “Shannon.” I would consider it a personal favor if you’d not provoke me […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: I hate February; it hates me
I can’t stop thinking about the girl. God knows I’ve tried, but this city won’t let you forget. She’s the bloodstain on the sidewalk, the one that looks like a question mark. She’s the crack in the window at City Hall and the smell of bread on windless mornings. The girl is my ghost; her […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: I want you! To fill in on the police beat
So, you want to be a police beat reporter. Who can blame you? It’s good work if you can find it. Builds character and occasionally ulcers. Imagine: Working the late shift so that your day begins when most people are going to bed. It’s a shift that will make you a stranger to prime-time television. […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Political rallies send shivers
At moments, I was genuinely afraid. Not of the thing in my closet this time but of a group of ordinary people like myself. Ordinary people of a singular mind crammed into one tiny room like ammunition in a magazine. Explosive. Big dogs on leashes that have frayed down to nothing. Political rallies have always […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds, The Franklin Journal
My haunted head
It was a perfectly ordinary ride on a perfectly ordinary summer day. Just me and my Suzuki, El Mechon, out on the main trail at Riverlands in Turner. There were no other riders in sight, leaving me free to sail through massive puddles and climb muddy hills with abandon. If there’s a heaven up there […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Where bogeymen go to die
For your consideration, today is just another face on a computer screen. A dowdy man in a sweatshirt with a name tag clipped to the front of it. His eyes are cut to the side. Nervous, maybe. Skittish, like a man who has become convinced that others are out to get him. But otherwise, this […]