The dude who robbed the 7- Eleven wore a blood red hoodie over a dark brown coat with a worn Carhartt logo on the front. Tattooed along the right side of his neck sat Tweety Bird, smoking a blunt while wrapped in razor wire — clearly your suspect is a fellow with deeply rooted issues involving Saturday […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Y’all stop licking things
My embarrassing friend So, I have this buddy who’s soooo lame, he let his wife talk him into watching “Outlander” with her. Ha! Loser! I mean, we’re talking about a classic bodice ripper that’s only thinly veiled as a period drama with some murky time travel and an occasional sword fight. This is a show […]
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Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Narcan — The misunderstood hero of the drug underworld
It was late on a Friday night and somewhere in Auburn another drug overdose was underway. I don’t know if it was man or woman, this time, or if the victim was young or old. All I knew for sure was that the first responder from the Fire Department had administered Narcan and the victim […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Take cover! It’s the BIG ONE!
Earthquake! Are you all right? Did you survive it? I’m kind of afraid that many of our friends and loved ones may have been lost in the rubble of the MASSIVE QUAKE that rocked, rolled and rumbled across our delicate region last weekend. Of course, the “rubble” consisted mainly of one or two knickknacks fallen […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Fine dining and how to avoid it
You people with your blooming onions, your volcano bowls, your various meats on sticks. I see you in there. You’re cracking jokes with the waitress, hitting her with soaring one-liners such as, “My name is Bob and I’ll be your customer tonight!” You’re buttering bread, negotiating over side dishes, ordering a fifth refill of chips […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Throwing signs all over the place
Meg Griffin admitted to Bowdoin College A pity she didn’t choose Bates, instead. We don’t have nearly enough cartoon characters struttin’ around here. Although I did see a guy who looked an awful lot like Dagwood plucking something out of a dumpster behind 7-Eleven the other day. I think he might be on the pipe. […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Tales of kindness and fortitude (and also some lame stuff)
I’m not saying that people have become weaker and less resilient as they’ve come to depend on the internet more and more. On the other hand, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Love is in the air — along with a whole lot of crazy
Spring forward Some wizard of math and astronomical calculations just alerted me that daylight savings is less than a month away. We are that close to springing forward, my friends, and ain’t that an injection of hope in the buttocks of winter despair! What does it all mean? Nothing, really? I just wanted to use […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
On God and terrible moments
Out of the wreckage on that Clinton back road came the devastating personal details that brought the bigger picture into hideous focus.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Doing secret groundhog things
Just like last year It’s the same thing every year. I never remember that it’s Groundhog Day until I wake up in the morning (ish) and find everybody talking about it. That delayed awareness prevents me from enjoying the early Groundhog Eve festivities the way I assume the rest of you do. The rodent nog, the […]