A song that stinks You know your weekend is going to be awesome when the first email you reads begins: “Each day, like most people in the Lewiston-Auburn area, I wake up thinking, ‘What can I do to make Mark LaFlamme’s day better?” And then goes on to reveal a song about a skunk – […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Columbus Day: Another reason to argue
Ah, Columbus Day. That special time of year when we pause in our daily routines to reflect on our complicated past and to start arguments with complete strangers on the internet. My celebrations of this special time typically begin with a trip to my mailbox. ME: “Hey! Why isn’t the mail here yet? I ordered […]
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Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: I see the want to in your ears
The most important thing you’ll hear today Stop whatever you’re doing at once and take note. This is big news. I have a new favorite local pizza. I’ll give you a minute to argue with your wife about it over the breakfast table as you try to make a guess. Think you got it? Nice […]
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Mark LaFlamme: A very scientific study of Lewiston crime
There are nights in Lewiston where it seems like no trouble could ever befall a single soul clutched within its tender embrace. Lovers glide along sidewalks hand in hand. Children play on grass turned gold by the sun’s fading light. Every person you pass on the street has a song upon his or her lips […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: This town stunk so bad, the goat screamed
Tell me how you really feel Last week, when the scent of chicken “leavings” wafted across the Twin Cities, so many people wrote me about it that I was initially confused about the nature of their unhappiness. “It stinks!” declared one man. “It’s crap!” snapped another. One lady complained, “It makes me want to gag!” […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, Op-Eds, Opinion
Street Talk: Goodbye, farewell and amen to the ‘Bawse’
For 25 years, I’d worked shoulder to shoulder with the great editor and now she was leaving and I found myself bereft of words. You always want to find profound lines or a daring display of affection, like B.J. Hunnicutt bidding farewell to Hawkeye with an array of stones. Some people manage it quite well, […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: I worked reeeeeally hard on this column
Feed a tree today So, leaf-peeping season has begun and in that spirit, I decided to look into the matter of why the leaves change colors. After consulting a leading expert (the first page that popped up in a Google search) I’ve made a horrific discovery. Apparently, trees get so depressed about the changing seasons […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Mark LaFlamme: Sitting still and screaming inside
How I envy you people. Look at you sitting there all calmly in your chairs. Your hands are folded neatly in your lap and you look like you could sit another six hours if need be. Such patient and well-behaved little angels you are. I’m not saying I hate you. I’m just saying I think […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Mark LaFlamme: Awright, mister. Breathe on me.
A block what, now? Pine Street in Lewiston is always clogged with traffic and pedestrians, but it’s really getting out of hand now. On Wednesday afternoon, I rode up there on my bike and there were at least 500 people jamming the streets, crowding onto sidewalks and even tossing balls at some poor soul they’d […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Hairy corn, brawling pigs and ants on the march: Winter is coming
So, the Farmers’ Almanac has released a comprehensive list claiming to be “20 Signs from Nature of a Hard Winter Ahead.” I wasn’t going to do anything with this — who needs reminders that winter is going to be a hell of backbreaking shoveling, knuckle-busting windshield scraping, white-knuckle driving and a wallet-busting sucking sound from […]