As long as I can remember, I have always hated February. It’s a bitter, cold month and one that’s filled with what feels like preternatural darkness. You can get a whiff of spring in February, it’s true — but it’s a faraway scent, not close enough to grab. February, I always reasoned, is a dead […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Screeching into the new year
Snow swagger That’s a manner of locomotion employed by the many, many, many people who take to walking in the middle of downtown Lewiston streets once the snow banks get high. They don’t just walk in the roadway, they occupy it, and practically dare a harried motorist to say something about it. I swear some […]
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Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Rock her, Martha! Pump the gas!
So. You’ve survived yet another blizzard without skidding off the road and into a ravine. Not a single time all winter have you been forced to dine on one of your own extremities in order to stay alive in your buried car. Congratulations, champ. Just don’t go busting your arm patting yourself on the back, […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: It’s bigger than all of us
Let’s make some noise! Happy New Year and such. You know those noisemakers that make a really horrible grinding sound when you spin them around? That’s exactly what an editor sounds like when he or she assigns a weather story. Doh! I guarantee I just talked my way into writing a weather story, whether there’s […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: That ain’t misteltoe
Elf on a shelf Why is that little guy not in prison? You weirdos keep sending me your photos of the depraved elf and the things I’ve seen him do cannot be discussed in a family newspaper. The dude should at least get his elfin butt to rehab. A holiday poem, maybe Here’s a nice […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Would Santa lie to you?
You wanted to believe it, didn’t you? You wanted to believe that a sick little boy found comfort and joy in his final moments and that if just for a minute or two, Santa Claus really did exist. And who could blame you? In a world that’s gone completely dysphoric, tales of love and compassion […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Christmas gift ideas that probably won’t get you kicked out of the family
If I look deep within myself with unalloyed honesty, I’m not sure I ever completely forgave my brother for giving me an ice scraper for Christmas. Don’t get me wrong: As ice scrapers go, it was just fine. It had the little teeth on the edge to rip into ice and there was a nice […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Some weather we’re having
It wasn’t me, it was some other guy The Sun Journal now has a drone, and with that acquisition, so ends my ability to sneak onto the newspaper roof in order to take naps, drink cocoa and do other things that I’m not free to discuss. If the paper doesn’t have a basement of some […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world
A tip for you smart shoppers: All I want for Christmas this year is a one-way ticket out of Looneyville — a fast flight out of this goofy dystopian landscape that feels like equal parts George Orwell, Philip K. Dick and Dr. Seuss. You know what I’m talking about. Somehow we all woke up in […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: I’ve got your nose!
Light snow, freezing fog This was a description of the day’s weather in the NOAA forecast that greeted me first thing Monday. Seriously, is this a real thing? I’m still getting used to the polar vortex and now we have freezing fog? It sounds like a weather condition that might exist on one of the […]