I hate waiting This is the message scrolled on the light signal box at Sabattus and Main streets in Lewiston, where the traffic lights can keep a dude captive for long minutes. This guy apparently had the time to jump out of his car, scribble his message and probably grab a cup of coffee at […]
Mark LaFlamme
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Street Talk: Inconsiderate E.T.s never show up on time
One recent evening, on the woody outskirts of Lewiston, I drove past a group of people who had their eyes upturned to the darkened skies. I recognized the scene at once. The fingers pointed at the heavens; the low-hanging jaws, the wide eyes … What we had here was a UFO sighting in progress. I […]
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Talk of the town: Cats and clowns and the muscle-bound
Give me 10 What woman will we see on the 10 dollar bill? The debate is on. Frankly, I never saw the honor in having one’s face on U.S. currency. I mean, think about what we do with our cash. We fold it up, stick it in our wallets and then sit on it all […]
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Street Talk: Waving the Confederate flag in surrender
George Orwell said: “He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.” Well, to be fair, Orwell himself didn’t say it. His beleaguered character, Winston Smith, thought it. He thought it in relation to the government willfully erasing the facts of the past and replacing them with convenient […]
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Street Talk: Just another night in the city jungle
The Pool Hall Hustler comes around a couple times a week, always looking for a quick bite, always slick and sly as he passes through. Although I’ve never personally heard his shtick, it is easily inferred through his mannerisms. “Hey, hey. How ya doing? Is anybody going to eat that? Nah, nah. Nobody wants that […]
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Talk of the town: It is what it is, you know?
Unhappy holidays It has come to my attention that, at a certain hobby store in Auburn, there are two – count them, TWO – aisles crammed full of Christmas ornaments and related holiday bling. Closer to the front of the store, I’m told, you will find the Halloween decor. Halloween! In June! So, I guess […]
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Warning: Childhood can be hazardous to your health
When I was a boy, each day was a date with death. By today’s standards, anyway. We used to climb trees like monkeys, and sometimes we’d fall out of them. Falling out of trees was half the fun of climbing them. It was also how we verified, once and for all, that gravity was real. […]
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Street Talk: A sneak peek inside my drawers
Every day, you people just keep calling and writing with the same question. “Mike,” you demand. “It’s been 20 stinkin’ years. Why won’t you tell us what’s in your office drawers?” OK, that’s never happened. As far as I can recall, not a single person has ever asked what’s in my drawers. It’s a real […]
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Talk of the town: Chromebook, Selfie Stick and other made up words
Here’s looking at you What the heck is a “Selfie Stick” and how can I avoid poking my eye out with one? Whatever they are, they’re all the rage right now. Everywhere you look is a photo taken with a Selfie Stick. If you had told me 20 years ago that one day everyone would […]
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Street Talk: What you do in the morning says a lot about me
I’m not one to brag. But this morning I had a cup of coffee in my hand, ready to drink, in less than a minute after I rolled out of bed. Fifty-two seconds, to be precise, shattering the old record of one minute flat. I truly don’t like to brag, but … In your face! […]