Dear Sun Spots: Enclosed is a prose piece written as a prayer of thanksgiving for my son, Alexander Sasseville, who was with us for 13 years. Alex passed over June 26, 2003. This is intended not only in Alex’s honor and my grief, but as a sincere appreciation and gratitude we parents share in being blessed with the opportunity to know, to love, to teach and to let go of our children. – Steven Sasseville (Pops), Auburn.

Answer: While this was received too late for our Thanksgiving column, Sun Spots was so moved that she felt other column readers would like to be reminded of our special children during this holiday season. Thank you for this reminder, Steven!

Alexander Arthur Sasseville died from a series of complications after a bone-marrow transplant in October 2002. His obituary spoke of his passion for simplicity, which shined through his everyday life. His animals were his closest friends. His artistic side, whether with his hands and paint or in the very personal gifts he would give to others, made Alex a thinker, a feeler and a wonderful friend. His was a style of timeless teaching. He treasured the Native American culture and its heritage.

The Grief Zone

(A Prayer of Thanks)

A spirit chooses me as his dad

A spirit incarnates and is given a name, a mission, a teaching

A spirit being enters the human experience

A spirit becomes aware with each human experience

And then Dad falls in love

Dad cuddles, kisses, loves and adores

Dad experiences bonding, connection, and pride like he’s never experienced

Dad is a god, a supplier of basics and more, he offers life

Dad mentors, teaches, falls head over heels, and connects

And then Dad falls in love

You are my flesh and blood

You are of my relations

You are my reflection

You are you

And then Dad falls in love

School; spitting, turning, crawling, walking, running

School; Caregivers, Daycare, Childcare, Dadcare

School; ABC’s, PET’s, LD’s, SPED’s and HUG’s

School; failure, frustration, forgiveness, feeling, freedom

School; separation, sickness, solitary, seclusion, sadness, seriousness

And then Dad falls in love

Cancer is like the mark of…

Cancer is like all fears meet at the…

Cancer is like life, death, youth, old, finite, infinite becoming…

Cancer is like hope, despair, tears, smiles, death, life joining…

Cancer is like an end, finality, an opportunity, a rebirth

And then Dad falls in love

Hope is all we have

Hope is a challenge to faith

Hope is the opposite of faith

Hope is the lack of faith

Hope is an illusion

And then Dad falls in love

What is it like to lose a child?

What is it like to have a child die?

What is it like to have your heart taken from you as you continue to live?

What is it like to long from your gut, to grieve from your heart, to embrace with your spirit?

What is it like to walk with one who is no longer incarnate?

And then Dad falls in love

Please do not pity me, for I have seen the gates of love and peace!

Please do not feel bad or sorry for me, for I have been blessed with loving lessons!

Please do not look the other way, for I offer only gentle awareness!

Please do not send me platitudes, for I have glimpsed truth!

Please do not guide, direct, or control, for I know exactly who awaits me!

And then Dad falls in love

My child is unique

My child is an angel

My child is a gift

My child is alive

My child is ours

And then Dad falls in love…

This column is for you, our readers. It is for your questions and comments. There are only two rules: You must write to the column and sign your name (we won’t use it if you ask us not to). Letters will not be returned or answered by mail, and telephone calls will not be accepted. Your letters will appear as quickly as space allows. Address them to Sun Spots, P.O. Box 4400, Lewiston, ME 04243-4400. Inquiries can also be posted at www.sunjournal.com in the Advice section under Opinion on the left-hand corner of your computer screen. In addition, you can e-mail your inquiries to [email protected].