Whenever our boss has something serious – usually something negative or upsetting – to discuss with us, he takes us to lunch outside the office. While we appreciate his desire to provide us with privacy while getting bad news, it’s very hard to go to these luncheons. My stomach drops to my feet and I’m much too frantic to eat. How can we get out of those lunches?

I think your boss is being very kind to give you bad news in private. Be a professional and try to handle it as best you can. It’s his decision when and where he wants to wield the ax, and I don’t think you can do very much about it, except to order a very expensive lunch – even if you can’t eat it.

I have just completed my master’s degree on a part-time basis while working full time. My company kindly has picked up the tab of $8,000 a year along the way. Now that I have my degree, is it being too greedy to ask for a raise and promotion now instead of waiting until the end of the year?

It’s not so much that it’s greedy but that the timing is off: You haven’t proved yourself yet. Do the best job you can, volunteer for extra assignments and then, at the end of the year, ask for a specific job and a specific salary.

I have a talkative co-worker who gossips maliciously about everyone in our office, including our manager. I am very uninterested in hearing what she thinks about our other co-workers, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I don’t want to converse with her at all, except to be cordial. Do you have any advice you can offer me?

Next time she starts making unpleasant remarks about your colleagues, you could say, in as warm a manner as possible, that you simply don’t participate in office gossip. And that is indeed very wise of you!

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AP-NY-05-03-05 0627EDT