Robert Lord of South Portland, in his May 9 letter to the editor, paints a rather grim picture of traditional marriage. He does suggest one bright spot: if 50 percent of first marriages fail, 50 percent succeed. They succeed in a seriously hostile social environment. There is probably some instability in “same-sex marriages.”

Obviously the difficulty is not with the institution of marriage. The problem is with the people who marry. The man doesn’t want to be a husband; he wants to have a wife. The woman doesn’t want to be a wife; she wants to have a husband.

No one wants to be had.

In all sorts of relationships the universal motto is: “What’s in it for me?” We need to adopt the attitude of the receptionists who always say, “How may I help you?”

Incidentally, the paramount virtue of Jesus was that in His living and dying He was giving Himself for others.

Harold L. Allen,, Topsham