The auto industry is a rolling laundry list of dreams, disappointments and could-have-beens. Now, two new books look at the auto industry’s less successful work.
One is the charmingly titled “Crap Cars” (Bloomsbury, $14.95). The other has a more generous title: “Lemon! Sixty Heroic Automotive Failures” (Thunder’s Mouth, $12.95).
Richard Porter, a Briton who wrote the first book, works for the BBC’s “Top Gear” television program. Tony Davis, author of the second book, is an Australian automotive journalist who writes for the Sydney Morning Herald.
Despite being foreigners, they’re not just out to trash Americans vehicles. They have a wicked, worldwide focus. Not even the world’s most prestigious automakers are spared.
“I’ve always found it fascinating that car companies could put so much effort into getting something so wrong,” Davis said in an interview. “It happens around the world, even with companies famed for their conservatism or common sense often making disastrous calls.”
The authors have different approaches.
Davis takes a far more mature, but hardly reverent, look at each vehicle, providing interesting background, details and insights on what went wrong.
Porter provides less information, favoring a drive-by shooting style that often takes only one paragraph.
But each is entertaining in its own way. Here are some of their observations:
1971-1977 Chevrolet Vega: “If this car was only a little bit rusty it was still on the production line. Things that dissolve more quickly than a Chevy Vega: 1) Soil. 2) Orange Tang. 3) Alka Seltzer. 4) Sugar in coffee.” – Porter
1975-1986 Rolls-Royce Camargue: “If this car was to prove one thing, it’s that even the super rich have a sense of humor.” – Porter
He suggests the Camargue is so ugly there must have been a mixup and instead of Rolls giving the design job to the prestigious Italian design firm of Pininfarina, it was given to Gianni Pininfarina, a plumber from Milan.
1984-1994 Maserati Biturbo: “If this car was sold without a steering wheel it could hardly have been less erratic.” – Porter
1981-1983 DeLorean DMC 12: “If this car was a real time machine, maybe the British government could go get their money back.” – Porter
The British government gave John DeLorean $156 million if he would build cars in Northern Ireland, Davis noted, and “the build quality was woeful … sales were calamitous.”
1972-1976 Jensen-Healey: “The car was under-developed and the build quality obscene. How’s this for stupid? Park an early Jensen-Healey on a slope and the contents of the fuel tank would slip past the carburetors and into the (oil) sump. Many things that should have been kept inside the Jensen-Healey leaked out.”- Davis
1975-1980 AMC Pacer: “It was shoddily screwed together and really ugly. Really, really ugly.” – Davis
“You could never fault AMC for trying. Wait, actually you could. Because if you are not very good at something it is probably better just to stop, which they did.” – Porter
PH END JENSEN
(Christopher Jensen is automotive editor for The Plain Dealer of Cleveland. He can be contacted at cjensen(at)plaind.com.)
AP-NY-11-21-05 1552EST
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