Somewhere, Spinal Tap would be proud. Taped on the stage floor in big letters was a sign that said “LEWISTON.” Mötley Crüe would now not be able to forget what city they were performing in.

Before I go any further, let me explain myself. The only reason I found myself at a Mötley Crüe concert was because my good friend Patrick Doyle gave me a free ticket. I’ve always said I would go see any concert as long as it was free. I’m talkin’, Neil Diamond, Tiny Tim, anyone. Along with the ticket came a photo pass. During “Shout At The Devil,” their first song, Vince Neil stepped on my finger. The bruise serves as a souvenir, although I was content with my exclusive snapshots from the photo pit.

Mötley Crüe was the most ridiculous show I’ve ever seen. It was also the loudest (Take that, 6gig). The stage show included little people, strippers, clowns, strippers on stilts, people on unicycles, people juggling, people swinging from high up above, and oh yeah, the band. Lead singer Vince Neil can’t quite hit all the notes he used to back in the 80’s, but the rock-hungry crowd ate it up. I was shocked at how pumped the crowd was despite the unflattering things that came from the band members’ mouths. Apparently, Mötley Crüe thought we were a bunch of f-bombs. I’m glad I didn’t pay for the $80 seat I was in just to get called names. It would have been like putting on a Mötley Crüe CD and paid my parents $80 to nag me to clean my room or get my homework done, minus the f-bombs.

The stage show also featured an unnecessary amount of fireworks and pyrotechnics. I could feel the heat from Section 30, and I watched the sparks fly off the metal ceiling. Overall, I can’t figure out why so many people flocked to see the Crüe. Vince Neil’s voice wasn’t so great. He had the crowd sing a good part of “Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away),” due to not being able to hit the high notes. Tommy Lee seemed quite irritated when the crowd wasn’t quite as loud as he expected. Nikki Sixx was very animated, playing a very cool Gibson Firebird bass guitar. Top-hatted guitarist Mick Mars didn’t say a word the entire night. He let his guitar do the talking with some impressive solos and deafening feedback.

The Crüe started at 8 pm; there was no opening band. After 45 minutes or so, they took a 10-minute break. They went another hour or so without stopping. The interesting schedule led to a fairly decent amount of Mötley Crüe music. I would expect no less, and I’m sure the fans that paid $80 for their seats would agree. The Crüe had a one-song encore, choosing the Sex Pistols classic “Anarchy In The U.K.” to end the evening. The dazed crowd left the show without all of their hearing. Most fans seemed to enjoy the show. But others, such as Patrick Doyle and myself, feel that we got exactly what we paid for. Nothing beats a free ticket.