An animal control officer investigating allegations of dog fights taking place at Michael Vick’s Virgininia says there are eyewitnesses who saw Vick at the matches. Vick, desperate to deflect attention from the case, has denied any knowledge of the dog fighting but is now willing to admit that he carries team-owner Arthur Blank’s testicles in the secret compartment of his water bottle.

Just making a point

Dale Earnhardt Jr. was docked 100 points and crew chief Tony Eury Jr. was fined $100,000 and suspended six races for an illegal modification to the Car of Tomorrow at Darlington Raceway. Seems to be pretty steep punishment considering all they did was put on a “Happiness is seeing your stepmother’s face on the back of a milk carton” bumper sticker.