DEAR ABBY: We’re having a problem with my little sister, “Madison.” She’s 6 – almost 7. Mom told me that Madison talked to her dad and told him that my grandfather touched her. Two weeks after Madison told him, he finally told my mom. Mom talked to Madison about it, but she denied saying it.

Mom asked me if I would talk to my little sister and see what her response was. When I asked her if Grandpa had touched her, she put her head down and quietly said, “No.” She does that when she’s lying.

I waited an hour or so and asked about it again. She still said no, so I asked if she would like me to talk to Grandpa for her. She said yes. Then I asked, “So he did touch you?” She quickly said no and changed the subject.

Mom and I don’t want to cause trouble with my grandparents, and we don’t have enough proof that he did touch her.

Please help. We’re in desperate need of it. – PROTECTIVE SISTER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR PROTECTIVE SISTER: Sometimes people who molest little children lead them to believe that it was their fault, or tell them that if they tell their mother, the molester will harm the mother. It is time to involve a trained, nonthreatening professional in this discussion.

I recommend that your mother ask Madison’s pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist who specializes in abuse. Through discussion, art projects and “play” sessions, he or she can evaluate the situation and determine what did or did not happen.

In the meantime, Madison should not be alone with her grandfather unless she is closely supervised.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old recent college graduate. I have a great job and live in a country club community.

My problem is, my boyfriend and I eloped, and I have yet to tell my ultra-traditional parents. They have never met him, as they live up north and I am in Florida.

Do you have any advice on how to tell them that I am married? – SERIOUSLY SCARED IN FLORIDA

DEAR SERIOUSLY SCARED: The longer you hold off telling your parents, the more angry and disappointed they will be.

I suggest that as soon as you and your husband can possibly manage it, you pay your parents a visit so you can tell them the good news. Put it this way: “Mom, Dad, I have a once-in-a-lifetime gift for you. Meet your son-in-law! I know you’ll grow to love him as much as I do.” Then duck.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance’s parents told us they would help us pay for our wedding and sent him a check.

I am the one designated to plan this affair, but my fiance refuses to give me access to the money and says his parents gave the money to “him” for our wedding.

He would rather I make the purchases and then ask him for a reimbursement. The check was made out to him.

Should I feel any right to have access to the money? – CONFUSED OR CONTROLLED

DEAR CONFUSED OR CONTROLLED: Be thankful this issue came up when it did. In the future, will any money your fiance’s parents give you (both) also be controlled by him?

You should definitely have access to the money without having to go hat in hand to him.

Many marriages have ended over issues of money and control, and my advice to you, before you get any closer to the altar, is to sign up for premarital counseling with your fiance to be absolutely sure you’re on the same page before marrying him.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.