BC-LR-WECANRELATE-LASTWORD:CH – lifestyle (300 words)
No thanks to the last word
(NOT INCLUDED IN YOUR MCT NEWS SERVICE SUBSCRIPTION. To subscribe to Love & Relationships, see purchase information below.)
By Alicia Roberts
McClatchy Newspapers
(MCT)
When it comes to relationships – with spouses and significant others, siblings and in-laws, friends and colleagues – the best lesson I’ve learned is this:
No matter how good it makes you feel at that moment, having the last word during a disagreement rarely is worth it.
In fact, I can’t think of a situation in which having the last word did me much good in terms of relationship-building.
With a spouse or a significant other, it just makes you look overcritical (or nagging). With a friend, you come off as petty and possibly non-supportive. With colleagues or your boss, you just might be lecturing a little too much (or challenging in a not-so-constructive way). And with an in-law? Just choose any words you utter very carefully, and then let the issue lie. Quickly.
But that’s just my experience. What’s the best relationship lesson you’ve learned and why?

Read more riffs on relationships at The Charlotte Observer’s We Can Relate blog: http://wecanrelate.blogspot.com. The bloggers: Alicia Roberts (39, married, two kids) is a news editor at The Charlotte Observer and Deirdre McGruder (39, single) is an online producer for CharlotteObserver.com.

(c) 2009, The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.).
Visit The Charlotte Observer on the World Wide Web at http://www.charlotte.com/
Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
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AP-NY-06-11-09 0600EDT


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