BC-LR-WECANRELATE-LASTWORD:CH – lifestyle (300 words)
No thanks to the last word
(NOT INCLUDED IN YOUR MCT NEWS SERVICE SUBSCRIPTION. To subscribe to Love & Relationships, see purchase information below.)
By Alicia Roberts
McClatchy Newspapers
(MCT)
When it comes to relationships – with spouses and significant others, siblings and in-laws, friends and colleagues – the best lesson I’ve learned is this:
No matter how good it makes you feel at that moment, having the last word during a disagreement rarely is worth it.
In fact, I can’t think of a situation in which having the last word did me much good in terms of relationship-building.
With a spouse or a significant other, it just makes you look overcritical (or nagging). With a friend, you come off as petty and possibly non-supportive. With colleagues or your boss, you just might be lecturing a little too much (or challenging in a not-so-constructive way). And with an in-law? Just choose any words you utter very carefully, and then let the issue lie. Quickly.
But that’s just my experience. What’s the best relationship lesson you’ve learned and why?
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Read more riffs on relationships at The Charlotte Observer’s We Can Relate blog: http://wecanrelate.blogspot.com. The bloggers: Alicia Roberts (39, married, two kids) is a news editor at The Charlotte Observer and Deirdre McGruder (39, single) is an online producer for CharlotteObserver.com.
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(c) 2009, The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.).
Visit The Charlotte Observer on the World Wide Web at http://www.charlotte.com/
Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
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AP-NY-06-11-09 0600EDT