Do you have a temper? Do you shout, rage and act ugly toward others?

Most of us have slammed a few egos in our time. We’ve screamed or stomped to make a point.

When we’re really young, say under 25, most of us can act pretty stupid just breaking up with a dating partner.

But, later on, most of us get a grip on ourselves. Maturity takes over.

For some, though, anger rages on.

If you’re guilty of yelling, stomping and raging to get your way, ask yourself these questions:

—If I died today, what would people remember? Truth is, you’ll be remembered as a jerk. Sure, there will be people lying at your funeral to state what a nice person you were. But, won’t most people know the truth?

—Do you really feel proud of yourself? Screaming at your spouse or family might feel good for 10 seconds. But, after the pain has settled down, don’t you feel kind of sick about the loss of control?

—Who taught me this behavior? Ask yourself what parent or relative taught you to act this way? Keep in mind that we cannot act out behaviors we’ve never seen.

“My youngest son caught me on video cursing like a maniac,” says a doctor we’ll call Allen. Allen is cool as a cucumber at the office. “But,” Allen admits, “I become another person at home.”

Allen recently started attending anger management classes.

He goes on to say that his father was the same way. “My dad would cripple the family with his tirades,” Allen points out, “so I learned this madness up close.”

We applaud Allen for trying to kick this awful habit. He’s determined to stop victimizing his family.

“I think men, especially, tend to attack their wives and kids when they feel bad about themselves,” says Craig, a bartender in North Carolina.

Craig says many men refrain from acting ugly, except when they’ve had too much to drink.

“They let it all hang out at my bar,” says Craig. “But, the pain and anger are already boiling up before these customers come into my place.”

If you have a temper, try these techniques to cool down:

—Vent your anger properly. Write about your pain on paper and pour out every thought. Pour out your anxieties, fears and disappointments and then shred or delete the document.

—Tell your family when you’re stressed. Give them warning ahead of time. Tell them you need space, peace or understanding.

—Develop a good sense of humor. Channel the pain into jokes and use lightheartedness as an antidote. Humor keeps life’s real issues from getting overly serious.

—Accept your weaknesses. We all have them. If you’re not making tons of money or your hair is falling out, embrace those facts. Love yourself completely, even under the worst of circumstances.

When you love yourself unconditionally, you’ll act out less stress on others.

Judi Hopson and Emma Hopson are authors of a stress management book for paramedics, firefighters and police, “Burnout to Balance: EMS Stress.” Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.