Go ask Alice

Alice Cooper, that is, or his Lewiston doppelganger. Got a visit from the billion-dollar baby on Tuesday. Super nice guy, Alice. Very friendly and wise. A good time was had by all. I haven’t seen my puppy since the visit, though. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

Visit my Facebook page if you don’t know what the nightmare I’m talking about.

Getting the degu trimmed

Sounds dirty, doesn’t it? It isn’t. I got an envelope stuffed with notes on various topics and this was one of them.

“I trim teeth. You don’t technically need a vet. Just a nice set of small wire cutters or the toenail clippers that look like wire cutters. I do my rats and everyone else’s bunnies, guinea pigs, etc. Once you do it once or twice, it’s easy.”

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Is anyone else getting turned on by all of this?

Forget everything

Hugh Keene, chairman of the board of directors at the USM Lewiston-Auburn Senior College, presented a lecture Friday titled “Beyond Relativity, the Theory of Everything.” Not to diminish Mr. Keene’s work, but I united relativity and quantum mechanics in just five minutes by using an app on my new Droid phone. Mind-blowing stuff. Unfortunately, that was before I got Evernote and I lost it.

If any of that makes sense to you, you’re a total geek.

Ah-oo-ga

Got several calls and emails late Tuesday night similar to this one:

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“OK, what the hell is that noise emitting from the middle of the Androscoggin? So loud we can’t sleep and its restful periods grow shorter? Sounds like a fog horn but more annoying.”

As it turns out, it was an alarm malfunction at the dam and NOT an alien invasion as I first suspected. Which is a real bummer because I was looking forward to a probing.

Phish out of water

The freakishly popular band is playing a date in Vermont, their home state, to help pay for damages from the recent flooding. I really have no comment on this matter. I just wanted to use the tagline above.

White hickory tussock moth caterpillar

Can give you a wicked rash, so don’t play with it. And I’m not even making that up. All kinds of kids are having reactions to them, developing rashes that just spread and spread and spread. In fact, that’s how I got this cold sore. Really, it is.

Strutt Your Mutt

Well, all right. I finally got an invite to this prestigious event at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society in Lewiston. As a judge. Funny, I always thought I’d get invited as a contestant.


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