Devil baby

In New York, several sidewalk denizens experienced moments of unalloyed terror after pranksters rigged a horrifying devil baby to spring up out of its carriage. Great fun, if you’re into cardiac events and soiled underpants. What I don’t get is how the victims of the devil baby realized so quickly that it was all just a prank. In the many, many, many video clips of this stunt, you see them chortling and consoling one another in the seconds after the fright. Me, I’m pretty sure I’d still be screaming five blocks and many minutes later.

It came from the West Coast

Did you see the giant squid thing that washed up on a Santa Monica beach earlier in the week? T’was as big as a commercial airplane and as ugly as a sack of very large hammers. Word began to spread that this oversized creature – and many others like it – may be the result of a nuclear power plant across the way there in Japan. I mean, holy Godzilla! I was extremely enthused about this story for a full day before learning that it was all a hoax. A marginally clever one, I suppose, but if you really want to elicit some shrieks, have that giant squid thing spring up out of a baby carriage on a New York sidewalk. Now that’s fun.

A bridge too far

When asked for comment about the clever prank, the oversized cephalopod reportedly uttered, “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee.”

Hammer time

I’m just going to come right out and say it. I locked my keys in my truck the other night while parked outside Home Depot. I have subtracted the appropriate number of man points and mailed them to the proper authorities. I’m duly chastised and ridiculed. While I was in the hardware store, I asked if they sell Slim Jims. (They don’t.) When I told the helpful clerk that I might have to call my wife to bring me a spare key, he winced. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just buy a hammer?” Good call. Fortunately, I was able to extricate myself from the mess by using a piece of rope produced from the back of the truck to finagle the window crank until there was space for me to reach the handle. I was pretty impressive, frankly. I’ll go before the board and argue that at least three man points should be returned to me.

Copy the Story Link