Easy-to-spot sophistication
At a recent art show I was sent to cover, a woman, whom I now love intensely, said, “Aren’t you the crime and mayhem reporter? Why in heaven’s name do they have you out here covering arts and culture?” It’s nice when someone gets you.
This car climbed Munjoy Hill
Saw this bumper sticker recently on a car parked in Lewiston. I don’t know why, but this tickles me.
Ho!
No clowns this week, but I did end up on Minot Avenue in Auburn one night where there was a report of a guy dressed as Santa Claus being followed by a group of kids. Sadly, Mr. Kringle was gone by the time I arrived. Too bad. I feel I’ve been pretty good this year and I wanted to give him my Christmas list.
70 days away
And speaking of yuletide stuff, the Ho-Ho-Home Depot now has Christmas trees and other obscenities on display. Totally took the fun out of the ball-peen hammer I went there to buy.
I’m triggered
Riding my motorcycle on a 76 degree Friday, I was saddened to see an ugly heap of snow outside of the Colisee in Lewiston. It’s funny, really. When I see those snow mounds in April or May, I get all giddy about it. I stop and laugh at the snow, pointing and calling it mean names. In the fall, it works the other way. You should have heard what that snow mound said to me as I passed. It was very hurtful.
Spooey
Really? This is what we’re calling our turnpike interchange? “Come to Lewiston and ride through our Spooey.”
Authoritarian power
Gov. Paul LePage is now calling on D. Trump to unleash this upon the American people. You know, of all the controversial things the governor has said, to me this is the most obscene.
Spooey II
Seriously, this is what we’re calling our turnpike interchange? “I”ll be late for supper, dear, I went to Lewiston and got stuck in the Spooey.”
Bonus track
Plus, doesn’t “Spooey” make you want to sing that old Frankie Ford song? “Spooey! Spooey, baby, Spoeey! Spooey, baby, won’t you let me take you on a Spooey cruise.” You can totally modify these lyrics as you see fit. I kind of hit a wall there.
Foliage
I have nothing to say about the foliage at this time. Leaf me alone.
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