Keeya!

Saw a guy, perhaps 50 years old, swinging a pole Bruce Lee style on Walnut Street. He was doing pretty well with it, but then lost control, bonking himself in the eyebrow hard enough to make him swear and fling said pole into the street. I laughed so hard at this sight I had to pull over to the side of the road to avoid driving into a house. When you get right down to it, I was utterly incapacitated for a few minutes there, which means Lewiston’s Jackie Chan actually took a guy out with his sweet moves. Well done, man.

Succubus!

Cheeky Maine author Crash Barry left a clove of garlic on my desk last week in trade for some hunk of junk from my basement. It looked like a pretty sweet deal at the time – I was sure that this amount of garlic would keep the vampires away, but nope. I just glanced around the newsroom and all the editors are still here.

Fire water

From the book “Historic Lewiston,” which somehow landed on my desk: “1909. December 1. The Dewitt Hotel at the corner of Park and Pine streets was badly damaged. Firemen got to the liquor supply which badly handicapped their firefighting ability. For some time thereafter this was a sore point. The mayor berated the City Council at one meeting for continuing to refer to it and said that although Auburn firemen who had come to aid were just as drunk as the Lewiston men, no issue was made of that.”

Here there be TWD spoilers

I’m not going to come in here today and brag just because I accurately predicted that Abe would be the character to get whacked on the season premier of “The Walking Dead.” Although I did. Right off the bat I knew it was going to be Abe. The Glenn killing took me by surprise, though. Geesh, that scene was a real eye-opener. Glenn has always been so level-headed. And Negan – OK, we get it. He’s a bad guy. No need to beat us over the head with it. And charming, I guess. Did you see the way Glenn was batting his eyes at the dude? OK, I’m done. If you haven’t seen this episode of “The Walking Dead,” keep an eye out for it.

Day late, dollar short

Trump visits Lisbon: “My campaign staff tells me there’s a great place to eat here called Graziano’s. After dinner, we’ll head over to see Frank Anicetti at his Moxie store, then we’ll tour the Worumbo Mill.”

Tree arrested in Portland

A man dressed as a conifer was charged with obstructing a public way after prancing around on the streets of Portland. Doesn’t this seem like something that should have happened in Lewiston? A scene from the jailhouse: “So. What’re you in fir?”

I got nothing. I’m on vacation, you know.

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