Save the date

Show of hands. How many of you are still writing 2017 when you mean 2018 in your checkbooks, time sheets and personal diaries? Aggravating, ain’t it? To me, the years have been flying by so fast, I’ll occasionally write 2007 in the date field. Ah, 2007. Those were the days. I totally wouldn’t let you read my diary from 2007.

Psss. Hey, buddy.

I know somebody somewhere who’s going to be going on a big television show or something like that but I can’t tell you a thing about it. Don’t you hate that? All I can say is that he or she is super stoked to be going you-know-where for you-know what. This is fun. We should talk in riddles like this more often.

A most excellent rant

About the challenge of winter parking, driving and walking, that is. This lady fumed so eloquently on the matter, I could feel her hot breath blowing off the email. “The powers that be are always trying to encourage people to walk and shop in downtown Lewiston,” writes Ellen Field of Lewiston, “but really, why would anyone want to risk a serious fall on unplowed sidewalks, trying to climb over mountainous snowbanks to put money into parking meters, and having to walk in the road because sidewalks are unusable? The last time I tried to go to the library I circled around the block twice & found parking & walking conditions so bad that I drove right back home. City officials seem to focus their attention on such things as creating bike lanes (do you think that any more than 1/10 of 1 % of Lewiston residents care about riding a bicycle down Lisbon Street?) They spent money on creating that park between Lisbon and Park streets instead of making the space into a convenient parking lot right near businesses. The official answer to snow/parking issues seems to be that people can use parking garages, but unless the parking garage is next to your destination, you still have to deal with walking on the hazardous sidewalks or in the road. And while I’m on my rant, it’s not a lot of fun to go out to lunch with friends and end up getting a ridiculous $12? or $15? parking ticket because you can only put enough money into the parking meter for one hour. Restaurants in places other than downtown Lewiston have free parking. If Lewiston would just plow the sidewalks and remove snow promptly, we would both be happy. I’m surprised they haven’t been sued by numerous injured pedestrians.”

Butt out

And speaking about the aggravations of locomoting in winter, what about those people who park on the sides of the streets with the butt ends of their cars sticking waaay out? Doesn’t that just barbecue your ham hocks?

Move along

But even that can’t compare to the windshield steaming fury of getting behind somebody who’s stopped in traffic just so that he or she can talk to someone on the side of the road. Sheesh, buddy. Just pay your hooker and move along, wouldya?