Embarrassment pro tip

If you buy a GoPro adventure camera through a private seller, place it in your backpack and then walk into Walmart. It WILL set off the alarms at the doors on your way in and then again on your way out. The alarms that go WONK! WONK! WONK! And everyone will stop what they’re doing and look at you as though you must be some kind of lowlife thief with half the electronics department in your grubby book bag. It was traumatizing, but it WAS fun to see the Walmart greeter get excited for a little while.

A view from the rinse cycle

And speaking of the GoPro, let me know if you’re interested in seeing the inside of my refrigerator or footage from my lawnmower, barbecue grill and laundry basket. In the absence of any real adventure to record, things got kind of weird around here.

Ghost caught on game cam in Durham

This is exactly why I don’t have a game cam. Ghosts are generally harmless until you see them, at which point they become aware of you and they start creeping around at night and opening your closet doors and such. Next thing you know, you’re sleeping with the light on and checking under your bed every five minutes. Happened to a guy I know.

Shoplifter shaming

A new program at the Auburn Police Department will post the photos of people who are caught shoplifting in Auburn stores. Bold initiative, I guess, but what do you do about the people who are ultimately not convicted of the crime? In the matter of fairness, I say the program organizers be required to pose for photos in their underpants.

Throwing hands

I swear that on a recent hot afternoon, I spotted two shirtless gangsta types playing Pat-a-Cake on a Walnut Street sidewalk in Lewiston. I mean, maybe it’s some esoteric form of street code, but to me it looked like that hand-clapping game little girls play in schoolyards. Kind of makes me want to chalk a hopscotch grid in the middle of Bartlett Street to see who will use it.

‘Scientists discover ghost particles from distant galaxy’

For the love of God, don’t look at them!

Weird scenes on Pine Street

You guys are going to think I’m totally making this up, but I swear it’s true. At about 5:45 p.m. on Thursday, the designated bicycle lane on Pine Street in Lewiston was occupied by an actual bicyclist. I know! It’s crazy! What’s next? People crossing the street in crosswalks? I’m pretty sure this is the very first time I’ve actually seen a bicyclist using one of the lanes created a few years ago for that very purpose. I would have filmed it with the GoPro but I was just too stunned to press the button. This world is just full of wonders.

Maybe they forgot to take the lens cap off

Spotted a film crew trawling through downtown Lewiston Thursday afternoon with what appeared to be top-shelf camera equipment. They were mostly just talking to sidewalk dwellers about political issues, but I tell you if they captured footage of that Pat-a-Cake action, I’m gonna be steamed.


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