So, while I was reporting on the various activities planned by local churches for Easter, out of a dozen church leaders I queried, I only heard back from two. Now, I know it’s likely because they were very, very busy during Holy Week, but as I’ve mentioned previously, I get really uneasy when I get snubbed by church folk. In my paranoid delusions, I imagine my picture hanging in various church halls with the message: “Do NOT pray for this man!” I just don’t get it, brothers. I stopped sinning altogether the very day I got married.

Rejected LifeFlight questions
As I prepared to interview the crew of some new LifeFlight helicopters last week, I turned to our readers for some questions to ask. Got all kinds of good stuff. I also got some cuckoo stuff that I opted NOT to ask of the crew when quizzing them about their new choppers. Among them: What’s this spinny thing do? Standard or automatic? Where do you hang the air freshener? Is it hard to parallel park? Which side is the gas cap on? Do helicopters eat their young? Why does it have wheels if it doesn’t use a runway? What’s this button do? Does she got a hemi in it? You ever seen a grown man naked?

Big ideas afloat
Incidentally, the tour of the new helicopter inspired me to get some upgrades for my dirt bike. Hover mode? Oh, yes. I’m getting that.

‘Behind Her Eyes’
If you haven’t seen this short series on Netflix yet, give it a watch and then get back to me. We’ll talk. I fear I’ve said too much already.

The Colisee is just The Colisee again
Good deal. Corporate names are annoying to me. If you’re a hardworking and studly reporter like myself, you have to add 15 words to the place name every time you reference the joint. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if they trimmed it even further. That big old rink in Lewiston? Let’s just call it “The” and be done with it.

Fights at the trampoline park
I don’t have much to say about this matter in general, but I wonder: Do trampoline parks have “bouncers?”

‘Everybody wants the poo gone’
Nice headline, bros. Incidentally, that very remark used to be part of one of my favorite pickup lines. Bet that explains a lot, doesn’t it?

The Bridgton Twin Drive-In
Sweet. It’s opening April 16, during which they will feature the movies “Godzilla vs. Kong” and “Online Ticketing.” I think Meryl Streep is in the latter one.

Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.