Lewiston schools relax dress code
So, apparently the school board has been moved by the spirit of giving and will now allow students to wear things like hats, hoods, studded collars (no idea what those are) and crop tops (those, either) to class. Interested for reasons that are beyond me, I looked up information about crop tops and decided I would look absolutely darling in one of those. I looked up studded collars, too, but unfortunately I had the safe search feature turned off and was treated to some pretty interesting images. Based on what I’ve seen, I’ve decided I don’t want a studded collar so please don’t get me one for Christmas.

Santa lands at Auburn-Lewiston airport
In an unrelated story, Twin Cities vexed with inexplicable shower of reindeer poop.

Geminid meteor shower
Dazzling, just dazzling. My final tally after attempting to catch the show from my back yard? One. One stinking Geminid. And I saw that one only after falling out of my hammock and onto the frozen ground so I don’t even know if it was real. Ripped my new crop top, too, so the whole night was just a disaster.

Dirty Harry is mad at me
Got a letter from a disgusted reader who is appalled by my inadvertent confession last week that I put ketchup on my hot dogs. The letter writer reminded me that Dirty Harry himself was horrified by the obscenity that is ketchup on a hot dog. My shame is great. Guess I better not tell these people what I dip my onion rings in because things might get even uglier.

They do WHAT out there?
Also got a note from a lady who said she and her 85-year-old friend laughed so hard about something I’d written about people peeing outdoors that they had to stop reading. Now THAT right there is why I got into journalism.

Light at the end of the blech
Here’s a spot of good news. I’m told that due to some cosmically goofy math, as of Dec. 10 the days are no longer getting shorter on the nighttime end of things. And by the middle of the coming week, the days will start getting longer again and the slog through winter will begin in earnest. Before you know it, we’ll all be out there in our crop tops again soaking up the sun. But don’t you DARE wear a red one because that’s what I’m going with.

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