Ella enjoying a nectarine. Submitted photo
As a mom, does the struggle to feed your children healthy food ever make you feel lonely?
When my kids were teenagers, my son was diagnosed with diabetes. I focused on a regular meal schedule, appropriate snacks, and emergency provisions for low sugar readings. Not that these were significant changes, but there were shifts needed. My daughter had earlier come down with a virus that caused her to lose her normal appetite, one that had a big love for vegetables, pickles, and steak, yet, now had to be vigilant that she didn’t fill up on net-zero calorie foods. My other daughter was trying to drop a few pounds and her extraordinary love for peanut butter, which meant encouraging moderation and not focusing on weight and outward appearance.
I had determined early on that food would not be an issue in my family. I would strive to provide sound nutrition, and there would be no “clean plate club.” As a child, I had to eat what was in front of me. Most of the time, that worked well as I loved nearly everything my mother made. However, there were occasions when mom served liver or pea soup. I passionately still hate both. This experience taught me that on the rare occasion I served something one of my kids strongly didn’t like, I’d also make something they wanted.
I remember the night that I looked around the dinner table at my children and husband and understood food had become an issue. They were enjoying their meal, but tears rolled silently down my cheeks. How would I ever keep the new rules straight? I felt alone in my sadness and the feeling that I had failed epically.
There are many aspects of parenting that are challenging, but few are more challenging than making sure our children eat nutritionally sound foods and, at the same time, are enjoyable to eat. So what gets in our way of meeting this goal?
— Finding time to plan meals and snacks when navigating children’s needs and other day-to-day activities.
—Getting kids to try new foods.
—Knowing when to insist on what they eat and when to let go of control.
—The noise of consulting too many experts and trying to be perfect.
—Preparing meals complicated by constraints such as diabetes, ADHD, sensory issues, and other medical conditions.
—Exhaustion leads to not wanting to cook and not caring if anyone eats anything.
—Guilt.
—Budget
—Our child insists on eating a particular food for every meal, every day of the week.
The night I felt sad, lonely, and a gross failure passed but ahead were years of experimenting, researching, and letting go of control. I learned to relax and have my children help plan menus and prepare meals. My children are now healthy adults and eat various foods from many cultures.
How about you? I wager that I’m not the only parent who has had this often lonely-feeling experience, and I won’t be the last.
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