It hasn’t been a week yet, and all of the good Whizzinator jokes have been used up.

So maybe it’s about time we at least attempt to figure out why professional athletes do something as idiotic as Onterrio Smith did last month.

We have the Minnesota Vikings running back to thank for introducing “The Original Whizzinator” to the American sports lexicon. Smith was detained in late April at an airport because he was carrying a powdery, white substance and some suspicious equipment.

The substance was dried urine. The equipment was a strap-on device shaped like a part of the male anatomy, the aforementioned Whizzinator.

Seems the dried urine, when mixed with water, can be, uh, dispensed through the Whizzinator while one is under the close scrutiny of a drug tester and produce a clean sample.

Makers of “The Original Whizzinator” claim it is foolproof. Apparently, anyone who uses a cheap imitation and not “The Original Whizzinator,” needs to have his manhood questioned.

But I digress. Smith claims he was taking the device to his cousin (Like I said, all of the good jokes have already been told). I find that alibi hard to believe, but it doesn’t matter anyway, because it doesn’t look like the Vikings or the NFL will punish him.

Some would suggest the embarrassment of this incident will be enough punishment for Smith. And he’s certainly going to be the subject of endless ridicule from teammates, fans and the media. Something like this could follow him the rest of his career.

But I also doubt Smith will regret it. Yeah, he’ll probably express remorse when the media first confronts him about it at training camp, but like most athletes, he won’t really be contrite. The only thing he’ll be sorry about is that he got caught.

Smith has a lot of practice at this sort of thing. In just over two years in the NFL, he has already violated the league’s substance-abuse policy twice. He also had problems in college, where he was kicked out by the University of Tennessee for marijuana use.

The embarrassment of being kicked out of school and testing positive the first time as a pro wasn’t enough for him to stop using an illegal substance a second time. It will be interesting to see whether being caught with a device that could double as a prop in a Lil’ Kim video finally sets him straight.

My guess is it won’t. By purchasing (I prefer to think he was borrowing) the Whizzinator, Smith showed what extent he was willing to go to to either continue using “recreational” drugs, or performance-enhancing drugs.

If it is to mask the former, Smith obviously hasn’t learned his lesson, and is willing to risk his embarrassment, his reputation and his career for the sake of getting high. If it is to mask the latter, then he is willing to risk embarrassment, his reputation and his career for the sake of his career.

Unfortunately, Smith’s actions up to this point seem to indicate he’s willing to risk just as much to get high, as he is to advance his career.

One can at least explain the career part. A lot of athletes grow up in poverty. One could understand why they’d take such desperate measures to get themselves and their families out of that condition.

Most athletes, whether they grew up poor or rich, made a lot of sacrifices to become as good as they are. Once they attain their dream, they probably view cheating, losing their personal integrity, as just another sacrifice. To them, it’s worth it if it helps them stay in their dream.

But what if he did it so he could smoke pot again? How can we explain that?

That’s a tough one. Maybe it’s peer pressure.

Randy Whitehouse is a staff writer. He can be reached by email at [email protected]