For 25 years, I’d worked shoulder to shoulder with the great editor and now she was leaving and I found myself bereft of words. You always want to find profound lines or a daring display of affection, like B.J. Hunnicutt bidding farewell to Hawkeye with an array of stones. Some people manage it quite well, […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: I worked reeeeeally hard on this column
Feed a tree today So, leaf-peeping season has begun and in that spirit, I decided to look into the matter of why the leaves change colors. After consulting a leading expert (the first page that popped up in a Google search) I’ve made a horrific discovery. Apparently, trees get so depressed about the changing seasons […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Sitting still and screaming inside
How I envy you people. Look at you sitting there all calmly in your chairs. Your hands are folded neatly in your lap and you look like you could sit another six hours if need be. Such patient and well-behaved little angels you are. I’m not saying I hate you. I’m just saying I think […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme, Op-Eds
Mark LaFlamme: Awright, mister. Breathe on me.
A block what, now? Pine Street in Lewiston is always clogged with traffic and pedestrians, but it’s really getting out of hand now. On Wednesday afternoon, I rode up there on my bike and there were at least 500 people jamming the streets, crowding onto sidewalks and even tossing balls at some poor soul they’d […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Hairy corn, brawling pigs and ants on the march: Winter is coming
So, the Farmers’ Almanac has released a comprehensive list claiming to be “20 Signs from Nature of a Hard Winter Ahead.” I wasn’t going to do anything with this — who needs reminders that winter is going to be a hell of backbreaking shoveling, knuckle-busting windshield scraping, white-knuckle driving and a wallet-busting sucking sound from […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Have you tried the chicken?
The big fizz Saw a delivery guy drop two cases of boss-sized soda bottles in front of a store on Walnut Street in Lewiston. Coca-Cola, mostly, and you could hear the bottles fizzing angrily as they rolled across the sidewalk. I waited breathlessly to see if a Mentos delivery guy would come along and drop […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Lewiston’s bogeymen: Gone but not forgotten
Maybe Albert Flick was just one more bogeyman sent out into the world to give a face to our oldest fears and to keep good and evil perpetually in balance.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Naked and running wild
We’ve all been there Somewhere in Lewiston last week came a report over the scanner of a man “running around naked and causing issues.” And just like that, I have a new title for my autobiography. The beautiful people Somewhere else in Lewiston, a burglary in progress was reported. The caller described the culprits as […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: You’ve got the cutest little baby face
A bum steer What’s the deal with everybody and his brother riding bicycles around Lewiston with but one hand? Saw a young dude cruising down Park Street the other day, handlebars in one hand, phone in the other. Couple blocks up, there’s a guy riding up Bates Street using one hand to steer, the other […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: The Mystery of the Horse that BARKED
WHY AM I SHOUTING?? What’s with the cops lately sending out press releases in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! Doesn’t matter what the nature of the news is, either. If it’s an unhinged killer with a hook for a hand on the loose, they’ll REPORT IT IN ALL CAPS! If it’s a shoplifting at a (yawn) dollar […]