Look away, I’m hideous A schoolteacher formerly known as Mrs. Morton called with the suspicion that I was her student in third grade back in 1964. She came to this conclusion after seeing my photo that accompanies my newspaper column, which to me is very distressing. Since I wasn’t born until 1967, the idea that […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Remembering the good times when you people knew nothing
People used to look me up all the time to get what I had. It didn’t matter the hour of day or time of year. Christmas Eve just before midnight? Ring, ring, ring. “Bunch of cops just went flying by my house,” my late-night caller would say. “What are you hearing?” So, I’d click on […]
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Talk of the town: The Mad Trapper of Rat River and other tales
Start me up It’s ironic that after years of getting ridiculed for riding my motorcycle in sloppy winter weather, this year it seems like everyone is out on a bike while mine sits in the garage. I have a starter problem, and just you shut up about it. Happens to all guys after they start […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: The art of checking out
The mission is important and I take it very seriously. In my hands I’m clutching three cans of cat food, a carton of half ‘n half, a bag of chopped walnuts and a jar of peanut butter. If I’m not in my car and headed for home in three minutes or less, I’ll consider this […]
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Talk of the town: If you don’t stop picking it, it will never heal
Touché That’s how I pronounce “Tourtière,” the traditional Christmas dish which the people of Lewiston, for some reason, refer to only as “meat pie.” Not very imaginative, people of Lewiston. Not to mention that it’s great fun to say “Tourtière.” Your tongue slams against your teeth in all kinds of exciting ways and, if you […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: How to shop for a new girlfriend without getting crushed by a Yule log
Shopping for your new girlfriend? Sweet. Here’s a piece of advice for you: that thing you have in your hand right now? Put it down. Put it down and walk away or it’s going to become a big, old thing and your Christmas morning will be filled with screaming and acrimony, instead of Johnny Mathis […]
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Talk of the town: We gonna do this thing, or what?
Home invasion! Earlier in the week, a local woman called 911 to report either a turkey or a rooster trying to get into her house. An emergency dispatcher sent over either a cop or a fireman to deal with the situation. The bird was either removed from the home or left there. Either nobody was […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: You might want to have yourself checked
I call this one ‘Puddle in Shadow’ So, last week while covering an event at Lewiston’s Ramada Inn, I kept stepping directly into a deep, cold puddle that waited in darkness like a trap outside the main doors. It happened not once, not twice, but thrice, to the point where I had to make up […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and the future of humanity
Every now and then, I like to scroll through my Facebook feed to assess the mood of the people – the Zeitgeist, if you will, and I know you will. It used to be that to grasp the throbbing pulse of a community you had to actually get out among the people and talk to […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Are you going to eat that?
Black Friday Ah, that special time of year where we give thanks for what we have one day, and go barreling into Walmart to fight strangers over electronics the next. The irony of that has always struck me. Thursday would have us believe that we’re content with food on the table and the companionship of […]