Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town

Milestone Welp. After 18 years of reporting, it finally happened: I was finally able to lead a story with a sentence containing the words “sea urchin” and “gonads.” (See Thursday morning’s gem.) When you’re a young reporter, the old-timers always tell you it will happen someday, if you work hard and stay patient. In the […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

The woman and the $36,000 raccoon poop

I’m looking across the table and it occurs to me that you don’t have a steaming mound of outrage to go with your French toast and eggs. I’m here to help. It begins last Thursday when animal rescue stud Rich Burton got a call from a rattled older woman with a problem. At first glance, […]

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Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town

N00b Another city manager in Auburn? I can’t afford to send another bouquet of flowers, new guy. Please enjoy this complimentary Sun Journal pencil sharpener with my regards. And please have my key to the city ready by the end of the week. It’s a tradition around here, in case you haven’t been told. See […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Street Talk: On the police beat, then and now

How it used to work: I’m roaming the streets of Lewiston in my infection-red Geo Tracker. There’s a big hole in the dash where the radio used to be but that’s OK. I have a cassette player sitting on the passenger seat (you can even dub tapes with this baby) and it’s cranking Toad the […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town

The poor dear To the nice lady at Shaw’s who said, and I quote: “Every time I see you in here, I feel like I’m seeing a celebrity. Put that in your little article.” Okay, here it is: I think you got a hold of a bad banana. We’re going to get you some help. […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

What could possibly go wrong in a dunk tank?

The Taser sucked because it was five long seconds of bone-shuddering pain, but you know what? The elf costume was somehow worse. The elf costume was three hours in tights, curly shoes and eye makeup. Three hours of pointing and laughing at the mall and the realization that you’re probably ruining Christmas for a hundred […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web

Talk of the town

Good deed for the day. But not today. Driving out Main Street in Lewiston one recent afternoon, I beheld a sight that warmed my heart and stuff. A young man, with a strong jaw and a smile at the ready, guiding a woman of advanced age across the street. You just don’t see that kind […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Exotic fish disease and other rainy-day fun!

Good morning, fish. You may have noticed that your newspaper floated to your doorstep this morning folded in the shape of a sailboat. This is how we bring you the news these days. Since our delivery people haven’t yet developed the gills and fins required to make their rounds, we’re innovating. You’re welcome. It sure […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the town

Change your ways Glad nobody was hurt when cars plowed over a utility pole at Bartlett and East in Lewiston on Wednesday. But man, if you’ve got to disable a set of traffic lights anywhere, that’s a good place to start. It’s one of the many lights around the city that won’t change for motorcycles, […]

Posted inMark LaFlamme

Talk of the Town

Yoink! The State of Maine, a nasty little welsher, has rescinded on its promise to hand over $300,000 to Auburn schools. This comes as no surprise to me. The State of Maine once promised it would buy all my drinks at the club one night after I helped it move out of its crappy apartment. […]