What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Police were sent to East Avenue in Lewiston last week after a woman reported she came home and spotted a “shadowy figure” moving around at one of her windows. Nothing much came of the call, likely because the correct terminology was not used. It has always been […]
talk of the town
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: You can say that again
Save the date Show of hands. How many of you are still writing 2017 when you mean 2018 in your checkbooks, time sheets and personal diaries? Aggravating, ain’t it? To me, the years have been flying by so fast, I’ll occasionally write 2007 in the date field. Ah, 2007. Those were the days. I totally […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Wild horses and butt flaps
Do stormtroopers’ uniforms have butt flaps? Ya know? When I heard that people would be lining up for the new “Star Wars” movie (“Star Wars XVI: Darth goes in for a prostate exam”), I just knew that temperatures would dip down in the teens. Pity Carhartt doesn’t produce a fleece insulated Luke Skywalker outfit, ain’t […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Cleanup in aisle 9
Norway woman robs store with finger Wasn’t it just a week ago that I complained, in that spleeny way I have, that nobody ever used the cartoonish finger gun to commit robberies anymore? This woman (in Thursday’s Sun Journal) failed miserably, but you have to give her credit for appreciating the classics. Although, if she was […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Pickles for everyone!
Wrong turn, Clyde I cannot be the only guy here who has accidentally walked into the lady’s room at the Androscoggin Bank Colisee in Lewiston. It happened at a hockey game a few weeks ago and I’m still traumatized. I tell you, the way the restrooms are laid out over there, with the signs posted […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Does anybody really know what time it is?
The big blow Well, what do you know. A big corker of a storm blew across the land and I wasn’t there to report on it. On vacation, I was, so when the mighty wind and rain did its thing, I was just like the rest of you civilians, fretting over power outages, complaining about […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: The Lurid Fantasy Gazette
Yodels! The woman who describes herself as “the crazy French lady” has done outdid herself by bringing me not one box of Yodels, but three boxes. We’re not talking the cheap knock offs here, either. We’re talking smooth chocolate cakes filled with creamed whatever brought to you by the good people of Hostess. Or possibly […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: That ain’t misteltoe
Elf on a shelf Why is that little guy not in prison? You weirdos keep sending me your photos of the depraved elf and the things I’ve seen him do cannot be discussed in a family newspaper. The dude should at least get his elfin butt to rehab. A holiday poem, maybe Here’s a nice […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
If this means anything to you, seek help
I know this has no bearing on you or your life. It’s just that I’ve been on vacation the past week and I have no idea what’s going on locally. Also, Mila Kunis has been asked to describe Ashton Kutcher’s manhood. If THIS has any bearing on you or your life, seek help. Pow! Got […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Gargantuan toddlers invade!
Half in the bag A report came in earlier in the week of a man walking down East Avenue in Lewiston with a bag over his head. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, maybe the guy is simply ugly and self-conscious about his appearance. But no. This guy was walking around with a Ziploc […]