DEAR ABBY: I am a normal 13-year-old kid. I play soccer and the saxophone and am serious about both.

Lately, I’m noticing my mom’s drinking. She threatens all kinds of things at night: no soccer, no sax, no social life. She gets argumentative and repeats herself. We’ve been getting into fights because she forgets things and says things she doesn’t mean.

The other night, she grabbed and pushed me. When I told her to stop, she said she has nothing to lose, but I do.

Plus my dad is kind of timid, so he goes along with whatever she says. HELP! – CRAZY IN COLORADO

Your mother’s drinking is out of control, and her behavior is destructive. Your father probably hopes that if he ignores it, it will go away. Please clip this letter and give it to him. He needs to contact Al-Anon, and you should attend some Alateen meetings.

Alateen is a fellowship of young people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. An active adult member of Al-Anon serves as a sponsor for each group. The number for both Al-Anon and Alateen is (888) 425-2666, and the Web site for both is

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, my high school sweetheart and I linked up again at our class reunion. We live in different states. A few months later, I visited her. Two months after that, she came to visit me for a week. We got along great.

We talk constantly and are in love with each other all over again. Neither of us has children or other obligations. She has agreed to move here, get her own place for a while, and let nature take its course. I can’t see myself without her.

Her friends think she might be acting too hastily. Do you think we need more time? We are both 38 and are ready to spend our lives together. What do you think? – CONFUSED IN KENTUCKY

You are both adults. Since there is nothing keeping her in the town where she lives, I see no reason why she shouldn’t relocate to yours. Her friends mean well, I’m sure, but they are not the ones who should be deciding whether her decision is too hasty, and I think they should butt out.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating “Andre” since I was 12 and he was 13. We are now 26 and 27. Like any couple, we’ve had arguments. He’s also cheated on me. We have three children. He also has four children with other women.

I am confused, Abby. We have a lot of trust issues. I have my guard up all the time. I love him. He was my first sexual partner. I want to get married, but I can’t help thinking he’s going to cheat again.

How can I learn to trust him totally? – C.D. IN CHICAGO

Being of sound mind and body, that would be impossible. Your boyfriend has proven at least four times that he is not trustworthy in the fidelity department. Thirteen years of this distrust and torture are enough already. If I were you, I’d talk to a lawyer, establish child support and let him go. He may be 27, but he still hasn’t grown up.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone – teens to seniors – is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

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