3:30 p.m., ESPN2

NASCAR in Nashville – for this weekend, the stereotype capital of the world.

Golf: The Masters (Third Round)

3:30 p.m., Channel 13

When I rule the world, I will decree that Bill Murray must be paired up with Phil Mickelson for every round of the Masters.

MLS Soccer: United vs. Rapids

3:30 p.m., Channel 8

To hold fans over until the arrival of messiah David Beckham, the MLS is requiring all players to dip their head in a vat of hair gel and carry a man purse for every game.

College hockey: NCAA Final

7 p.m., ESPN

ESPN has shown once again that it prefers style over substance by giving Barry Melrose more mike time than Bob Norton.

NBA basketball: Celtics vs. Pacers

7 p.m., FSNE

Larry Bird is a god as far as I’m concerned, but he gets a free pass from the national media over how he’s ruined the Pacers on and off the court.

MLB Baseball: Red Sox vs. Rangers

8 p.m., NESN

Poor Rangers. They could win 23 in a row and they’d still be bumped off the front pages in Dallas by the Cowboys hiring a new strength and conditioning coach. .