So you really want a playoff in the oh-so-conveniently named Football Bowl Subdivision, do you?

I’ve been a proponent of a 16-team showdown in December and January for as long as I can remember. But then I realized that the same clowns who currently set the national championship game pairing – coaches, writers and broadcasters who watch an average of 1.6 live games each week – would weigh heavily in selecting the field.

Instead of arguing about South Florida, Boston College and LSU at No. 2 (and it’s no argument at all, blemished record or not), we’d be debating the relative merits of Georgia, Penn State and Kansas at No. 16.

Sixteen good teams would be a stretch most years, this one included. Look at some of those licensed killings in the first round of the I-AA/Championship Subdivision tournament. The gap between the haves and have-nots is just as cavernous among the elite schools.

This week’s schedule looks like another body of evidence to cloud our arguments:

Auburn at LSU – How do you go from the BCS National Championship Game to the Outback Bowl in eight days? LSU will be Exhibit ‘A’ if it doesn’t find a way to win this game. The winner takes over sole possession of the top spot in the SEC West and stays on a track for a trip to the Sugar Bowl, which obviously would be a consolation prize for the Bayou Bengals.

It all sheds light on the real issue here, which is that losing to a good conference opponent on the road in overtime shouldn’t cost you four or five spots in the poll. I understand moving a program with Ohio State’s tradition up a notch to No. 1. But any writer or coach who wrote down South Florida’s name above LSU on his ballot Monday morning should be embarrassed. They’ll probably slide the best team in the country out of the Top 10 completely after this week. LSU, 17-14.

Florida at Kentucky – I liked the Wildcats’ chances of winning this game after losing a close one to LSU. Then, of course, they had to go out and screw that up. That Kentucky win makes Florida the more desperate team in addition to the (slightly) more talented team. Florida, 30-27.

South Florida at Rutgers – Scary thought: If last season’s first seven weeks were as utterly ridiculous and unpredictable as the one we’re experiencing now, we could have been talking about Rutgers as the No. 2 team in the country. I don’t even think the Scarlet Knights would be the No. 2 team in Canada. And let the record show they beat USF last year. Upset special Rutgers, 30-20.

Texas Tech at Missouri – This one could threaten Boise State and Nevada’s newly minted mark for most total points in a game. Without the benefit of overtime. Missouri, 51-44.

Tennessee at Alabama – The weekly battle of two-loss SEC teams who are both better than Kansas or Arizona State. Crimson Tide have accomplished their first-year goal under Nick Saban, which was getting better. Oh, I almost forgot: It’s their Divine right to win a national title every year. Sorry. Tennessee, 24-22.

California at UCLA – Bruins spanked Oregon State, which promptly went on the road and destroyed Cal’s national title dreams. Then again, UCLA lost to Notre Dame. Talk about a trump card. California, 35-17.

Southern Cal at Notre Dame – Just can’t bring myself to believe a team with this much talent will play like dog doo-doo three weeks in a row. USC, 38-9.

Michigan State at Ohio State – Obligated to put No. 1 in the picks, I suppose. Especially when I believe they’re about No. 7, in reality, and could lose any old week. Just not this one. Ohio State, 28-18.

Kansas at Colorado – Hopefully ABC has an escape clause from being forced to broadcast the Big 12 championship if one of these teams winds up in it. Kansas, 31-16.

Oregon at Washington – Ducks trying to get back into the BCS picture against the team that gives everybody trouble. Huskies probably don’t have enough offense to hang around for long. Oregon, 31-10.

Virginia at Maryland – Why are the Cavaliers ranked? Maryland, 19-13.

Michigan at Illinois – Write it down and remember that I told you so: Michigan will beat Ohio State on Nov. 17 and go to the Rose Bowl. Until then Michigan, 24-10.

Wake Forest at Navy – Trap game before the Midshipmen’s chance to end that 900-year losing streak against Notre Dame. Wake Forest, 35-33.

Miami (Fla.) at Florida State – Remember when this game used to matter? Florida State, 20-16.

Last week: 7-7 (.500). Season: 63-38 (.627). Upset specials: 5-8 (.385)

Who beat Kalle? Jim Lamontagne, Lewiston (9-5).