Roy’s closing indefinitely after it’s struck by SUV
My only comment at this time is: Noooooooooooooo! I’d add a more appropriate number of “oooos” to that, but there’s a print space issue. I don’t get to Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers in Auburn as much as I’d like, but it’s the one food joint around where I know I’m always going to leave happy. Two (or possibly three) hot dogs with mustard and ketchup and a giant tub of fries soaked in nostril blasting vinegar. It’s gastronomic nirvana, bruh. If I’m ever sent to death row (probably as a result of The Incident) there’s a good chance that my last meal order will be hot dogs and fries from Roy’s. If the place is closed due to an SUV in its grill, I’m gonna be pretty unhappy.

This food ain’t fast enough
I suppose that next some fool will drive into Wendy’s, George’s Pizza, Lewiston House of Pizza and the section of Hannaford where they sell those pre-cooked miniature chickens. If that happens, I’ll just go ahead and die of malnutrition.

Warehouse to be built behind Promenade Mall in Lewiston
Nope. Nu uh. No can do. I’m afraid I’m going to have to put the kibosh on this one because there’s a little network of trails out back there that I like to ride on. Sorry fellas. Take your dozers elsewhere.

Say, what IS a kibosh, anyway?
Do you boil or fry them and do they taste good with vinegar? I’m gonna try one before someone decides to drive his car into the kibosh section at Hannaford.

Lewiston police moving to Bates Mill?
I don’t like it. First their scanner channel goes dark and now they’re possibly moving farther away from the downtown? I can’t help but feel that they’re trying to get away from me personally. I suppose now would be a good time for me to launch that criminal career I’ve been mulling.

How I really feel
Hey, I have a few inches of space left. I’ll just continue my thoughts on the Roy’s All Steak Hamburger debacle here: “…oooooooooooooooooo!”

My bad
I’ve just been told that Roy’s is already re-opening after repairing the damage. I may have overreacted and I apologize. Apparently they know a contractor who likes hot dogs as much as I do.

Here’s looking at you
I’ve been getting a lot of “overcome your fear of public speaking” emails lately and I don’t know why. Most people know I don’t do public speaking because I’m a big chicken sissy pants. That whole “picture them in their underwear” trick doesn’t work for me, although I still use it at times while walking through crowded stores and such. Which reminds me: I’ve got to go Christmas shopping. See you at the mall!


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