Domestic violence is a social ill that impacts both adults and children in abusive homes.

According to Futures Without Violence (formerly the Family Violence Prevention Fund), as many as 3.3 to 10 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year. Any parent in an abusive relationship can tell you that living in a violent home can leave mental and emotional scars on children of all ages.

Even if they are not the direct targets, children who witness abuse in the home are at greater risk of behavioral and psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and violence toward others. They are also more likely to run away, attempt suicide, and abuse drugs and alcohol.

The effects can be much more direct, as well. Abusive partners will often control their victims by threatening to harm or take custody of the children. Children may also be used as go-betweens. For example, an abusive parent may manipulate the children into sending messages to the other parent or convince them that the other parent does not love them. After the abuser and victim separate, they may continue to share custody of the children, which facilitates further abuse.

The fact that domestic violence is a learned behavior makes children even more vulnerable. While not every child exposed to abuse will go on to be abusive later in life, many who see violence in the home learn that violence is acceptable. It becomes a way for them to express themselves and get what they want. In worst cases, they perpetuate domestic violence in their adult relationships.

Breaking that cycle can be difficult.

Like adult victims of domestic violence, children are often torn between loving and fearing the abusive parent. As a result they may have trouble testifying or providing statements to police. Likewise, many victims with children hesitate to report for fear of breaking up the family, or they feel that staying with an abuser is safer because it gives them a chance to watch over the children, rather than allow any unsupervised time with the abuser.

A large number of Child Protective Services cases at the Department of Health and Human Services involve domestic violence. Co-occurring child abuse and neglect along with domestic violence complicates the situation for a caseworker who now must contend with multiple victims — the children and the victimized parent.

To help with these cases DHHS has partnered with Safe Voices to offer a Domestic Violence CPS Liaison. The liaison is employed by Safe Voices and housed within the DHHS building. The liaison can provide advocacy to victimized parents and children while educating and supporting caseworkers. She is available for families with open cases as well as by referral. The services are confidential.

Domestic violence resource centers also offer safety planning and resources specifically for children. Safe Voices advocates have developed booklets for children that talk about safety in an age-appropriate way. Advocates work with parents to educate them on how they can better protect children who may be seeing and hearing the abuse and encourage them to create safety plans together. Adolescents in abusive households can also speak with Safe Voices youth advocates to get one-on-one support.

Given the scope of the impact on children, it is imperative that service providers develop strategies for working with all victims in the household, not just adults. Safe Voices’ mission is to support and empower individuals impacted by domestic violence, and that includes the youngest victims.

Jane Morrison is the executive director of Safe Voices, the domestic violence resource center serving Androscoggin, Franklin and Oxford counties.

Safe Voices and the other resource centers that are part of the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence are available to assist service providers to give children of abusive households the tools and support to be safe and healthy.

If you or someone you know needs assistance regarding domestic violence, call the Safe Voices 24 hour Helpline at 1-800-559-2927, or visit www.safevoices.org for more information.