The big man was stuck at a light on Sabattus Street and he used the idle minute to stuff his face. Big Mac, it looked like, or possibly a quarter pounder. Before the light went from red to green, he wolfed down half of it and managed to cram in a handful of fries, as […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: So, what are you wearing?
Tarantulas seized from Norway motel I have just received information that William Shatner is shaken but otherwise safe after the ordeal. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to go back to the ’70s and watch more “Creature Features.” The most wonderful time of the year? Meanwhile, in downtown Lewiston, a […]
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Mark LaFlamme: The mystery of Todd Finn
It got to the point where I cringed every time I heard the man’s name. All day and into the night, people wrote or called or tapped on my shoulder to say things about the beleaguered school superintendent, Todd Finn. “A wonderful man,” one would declare. “A saint, really. A heroic figure utterly dedicated to the education […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Surly reporter ready to put on pants
Spot of teeeeea? I tell you people, I’ve been misunderstood about the matter of my shameful foray into tea drinking, as I described in a recent column. In one recent letter, received on Monday, the writer commiserates on the miseries of “refraining from coffee,” and goes on to write, “you mustn’t be despondent, dear one.” […]
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Mark LaFlamme: The art of extrication
To my eye, extrication is like surgery on a magnified scale. You’re slicing and cutting and tearing into metal instead of human flesh, but the operation requires the same level of precision, and the ultimate aim is the same: the preservation of human life.
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Yeet! and other words you need to know
East bound and down So “Smokey and the Bandit” was playing at the drive-in this week, but I was working and couldn’t go. It’s a real bummer, too, because not only is the movie a blast, but afterward, you get to watch all the dorky moviegoers, amped up by the Bandit’s driving antics, trying to […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Can I interest you in a spot of tea?
I’ve started drinking tea and it’s gotten so bad that the discovery of something like chamomile in the ingredients list can send me into a fury or an all-day depression.
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Party like it’s 2019
Parks and playgrounds reopening That’s a relief. This whole lockdown business has been particularly difficult for skateboarders. While the parks were closed, they had to resort to beating themselves with bricks, flinging themselves down stairways and running into trailer hitches to maintain the lifestyle of skinned knees, bashed elbows, pounded shins, jolted chins and the […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Elmer Fudd and the cancel culture
“When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.” ― George R.R. Martin My relief is enormous. I can’t tell you how many nights I lie awake in bed, terrified by the thought that Elmer Fudd and Yosemite […]
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Mark LaFlamme: Fish and column ideas are hard to come by
I stood on the beach near Fort Popham and watched in blissful fascination the performance of the seals. For nearly an hour they danced for us in the dimming light of dusk. They splashed and dove and frolicked with the unrestrained enthusiasm of gleeful children. Every now and then, a seal would rise from the […]