To this day, I’m not sure if the Trans Am rolled once or twice before rocking back onto its tires in the middle of that field in Oakland. We had been trucking down Fairfield Street at twice the speed limit, beers between our legs, when some fool suddenly slowed in front of us. Brakes screamed. The […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Let's blame the shadowy figures
What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Police were sent to East Avenue in Lewiston last week after a woman reported she came home and spotted a “shadowy figure” moving around at one of her windows. Nothing much came of the call, likely because the correct terminology was not used. It has always been […]
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Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: When good scanner calls go bad
Over the police scanner, it sounded like the real thing. Four shots had been fired near an Auburn hotel, according to the caller, and at least one person had been struck. The man who reported the shooting further advised police that he was locked in the trunk of a Buick. He was thumping around and […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: You can say that again
Save the date Show of hands. How many of you are still writing 2017 when you mean 2018 in your checkbooks, time sheets and personal diaries? Aggravating, ain’t it? To me, the years have been flying by so fast, I’ll occasionally write 2007 in the date field. Ah, 2007. Those were the days. I totally […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: The scourge of the winter walker
All summer long, they hunker down in sweaty apartments, waiting for winter. “Gentlemen,” their hand-rubbing leader will assure them. “I know it’s hard right now, what with the sidewalks all clear and what-not, but don’t you fret. Soon the snow will come and when it does, the roads will be ours!” This pronouncement is generally […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Chris Matthews said something weird
It happened on New Year’s Eve A nice and possibly deranged fellow approached me at Shaw’s on the big night, heartily shook my hand and said, “Put me in the paper, won’t you? Report that Chris Matthews said something weird.” Congratulations, Chris Matthews. That’s a pretty weird thing to say. I usually only experience that […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Have you heard the good news?
What’d you get for eight down? So, apparently there was some foul-up with the syndicate, which caused us to publish papers Saturday AND Tuesday that contained crossword puzzles missing half their clues. Missing clues! Can you imagine it? I would like to make it publicly known that I had nothing to do with this foul-up. […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street talk: Gifts for the scofflaw on the law's naughty list
The woman at the front of the line could not have been more enthused about her Christmas plans. She had procured for her son the perfect gift — in fact, a bunch of them — and now all that was left was to plan the delivery. “I’m going to wait until Christmas morning to give […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Wild horses and butt flaps
Do stormtroopers’ uniforms have butt flaps? Ya know? When I heard that people would be lining up for the new “Star Wars” movie (“Star Wars XVI: Darth goes in for a prostate exam”), I just knew that temperatures would dip down in the teens. Pity Carhartt doesn’t produce a fleece insulated Luke Skywalker outfit, ain’t […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: You wouldn’t believe who scooped us
So, every time you see me out and about of late, you note that I have a confused look about me. The hanging jaw, the squint of befuddlement, the overall comportment of a fellow who’s lost his way. You assume that I bought the wrong size boxer shorts again, but it’s not so. Not this […]