Me and my recliner are pals We go waaay back together. (Stole that from a guy on Facebook. Regret nothing.) Construction Are you like me? Do you keep running into construction zones every time you try to zip across town? There are so many flag guys out there with so many instructions, it’s like an […]

The woman was as friendly as can be until recognition dawned. “Wait,” she said after five minutes of talking. “Is your name Mark?” I resisted the temptation to lie and admitted my identity. Her eyes darkened. Her body tensed. The face twisted into a scowl. This is The Person Who Remembers, and if you’ve been […]

My new jacket And speaking of high fashion, I’ve been scouring the earth in search of the perfect spring coat. It’s no easy feat because I spend the autumn and winter wearing a Carhartt jacket, a beautiful piece of outerwear I love so much, I will one day be buried in it. Finding an equivalent […]

The wasps are back. All winter long, they’d been on the back of my mind, creeping and crawling like bad thoughts across my subconscious. After what happened last summer, I thought they might stay away. Last summer, it was a war — me with my cans of Black Flag, they with their stingers and military-grade […]

Blink dance Yes! Perhaps in response to my nightly prayers and/or profane utterances, the city has decided to put the traffic light at Bates and Pine streets in Lewiston on blink mode. The way it should be. Blink dance canceled And because I celebrated so soon and so animatedly, the city has now turned the […]

Someday, at a town hall near you, my head is going to pop clean off my neck. It will make a pleasing sound, I reckon, like a cork departing a bottle of cheap champagne. Days later, after the autopsy and a respectable period of mourning and restrained amusement, the death certificate will contain just two […]