You must forgive my disheveled appearance this morning. The uncombed hair, the week’s worth of beard, that distinct man scent that follows the terminally unwashed … I’m just back from vacation, you understand, and I’ve been on a bender. Not the old-style bender, mind you — surely you would have read about that in the […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme, Uncategorized
Street Talk: History repeats itself
You must forgive my disheveled appearance this morning. The uncombed hair, the week’s worth of beard, that distinct man scent that follows the terminally unwashed … I’m just back from vacation, you understand, and I’ve been on a bender. Not the old-style bender, mind you — surely you would have read about that in the […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web, Uncategorized
Talk of the town: What I won't do for love
Baby Cakes Hee. I was behind a minivan the other day that bore a license plate with some variation of that name on it. Baby Cakes. I snickered. I guffawed. I both snickered and guffawed to the point where I was actually snickuffering. Then I pulled up alongside the van and saw that the dude […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web, Uncategorized
Talk of the town: Does this look infected to you?
Deliver me So, somewhere in Androscoggin County Wednesday afternoon, a man was reported to have emerged from the woods, carrying a banjo and reportedly howling at various things. There’s no crime in that. Unless, of course, you left Ned Beatty back in the woods somewhere, in which case I foresee all sorts of trouble. My […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Hookers, johns and Judgment Day
The man was the very definition of humility. He came into the newsroom with his hat in hand, an older fellow whose eyes were red, either from crying or trying not to. He was shaking. He was pale. He was terrified. “Does my name have to go in the paper?” he asked. “Can’t you leave […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Alive with pleasure
The truth is out there, maybe NASA is still going on about those seven new “planets” they’ve recently “discovered” in a solar system a light fathom or two away. Stinking liars. I checked the sky with my own telescope, the powerful Walmart 50×168-WTF and I didn’t see any planets out there. Come to think of […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: The rise of the Lewburn empire
I had only been on the job a week when I got the thrill of meeting my very first VIP. It was Lewiston Mayor John Jenkins, who shook my hand at approximately 85 mph, informed me that there’s no “I” in “team,” and then spelled out his plans to unify Lewiston and Auburn. The two […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: You're going out in that?
‘Sneaky Pete’ The first season of this Amazon crime drama was so good, I’m going to go ahead and use three popular initials I’ve never used before: OMG! What an intense show. It’s about a con man desperately trying to raise a hundred grand to free his brother from the clutches of Bryan Cranston, or […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: It happens to all guys
A ca-ca storm by any other name Don’t you hate it when someone describes the weather as “inclement?” If it’s not a four-letter word profane enough to get you kicked out of church, it’s not an adequate way to describe our recent weather. Maybe YOU’RE inclement, did you ever think of that? OK, I’ll go […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Boy, aren't you glad it's not summer?
Don’t you hate it when you go to the beach and the sand is so blisteringly hot it feels as though you’re walking on glowing coals? You go hopping along like a drunken shaman, trying to minimize the pain to your tootsies as you weave among the blankets, beer coolers and lawn chairs. You’d like […]