It was a prison inmate who first explained to me that the income tax may be unconstitutional and he urged me to look into it. I did, and damn if he didn’t have a point. It was a prisoner who best described the burning thirst of addiction and another who explained the weird compulsions that […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Keep your hands where I can see ’em
Are you hitting on me? So last Friday, I wandered into the newsroom only to find not one, not two, but THREE copies of the newspaper’s sexual harassment policy on my desk. Three of them. I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me here, but I deny it all. I haven’t had any of […]
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Why do these guys want to be mayor?
Mayoral debate I thought what’s-his-face made some good points while who’s-his-head was just all over the road. As always, I’m voting for the guy with the least obnoxious campaign sign. You gotta want it Actually, I’m always surprised by how many people throw their hat in for the mayor’s gig. Being the mayor of Lewiston, […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
It’s not always the crash but the people who leave a mark
The first car wreck I covered as a reporter was a doozy. It was out on a Danville back road and the carnage was shocking. The car itself was almost unrecognizable as a means of motorized conveyance. The entire frame was twisted as though a giant hand had plucked it up into the sky and […]
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What he’s doing in Wal-Mart is alarming
Did you know . . . That a carbon monoxide detector will set off a store’s door alarm system even if you legally purchased the item? For instance, if you buy a CO detector at Wal-Mart and then stuff it in your backpack and mosey over to Lowe’s for more shopping, the alarm at Wal-Mart will […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: It stops being funny when it starts being you
Everything changed on the night of the blood moon. Actually nothing changed, as far as I can see, but how awesome would that be as the opening for a novel, a drunken manifesto or a breakup letter? If anything changed things it’s Facebook, and more specifically those wretched memes, which used to be funny but […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: It stops being funny when it starts being you
Shades of Andy Capp Thursday afternoon scanner call: A man in Lewiston reported his wife was chasing him in her Jeep Liberty when she collided with another car. He told police she was now out of the car and yelling at the other car’s driver. No word on whether the suspect was armed with a […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Is that a motorized bike or has the insect takeover begun?
The first time I saw one of those motorized bicycles, I thought I was hallucinating. I thought I was being chased by some oversized, supersonic bat and I was prepared to take evasive action. Evasive action consisting mainly of wetting myself and crying a lot. It was the middle of the night and I was […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Tracking the great mysteries of Maine
Wet suit wiggle This is a real thing. Wet suit wiggle, that is. I thought it was an exotic new dance sweeping the nation, or some sort of football play, but no. Wet suit wiggle is the act of surfers wiggling into their wet suits whilst out among the public, primarily at Higgins Beach in […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Street Talk: Please wipe your feet before entering
Many years ago, a young lady I was dating gave me an unintentional compliment. I had her over to my apartment for soda pop and cookies one night and she said: “You know, Mike? I’ve never been able to picture you actually living in one specific place. I always imagine you everywhere at once, like […]