Unhappy holidays It has come to my attention that, at a certain hobby store in Auburn, there are two – count them, TWO – aisles crammed full of Christmas ornaments and related holiday bling. Closer to the front of the store, I’m told, you will find the Halloween decor. Halloween! In June! So, I guess […]
Mark LaFlamme
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Warning: Childhood can be hazardous to your health
When I was a boy, each day was a date with death. By today’s standards, anyway. We used to climb trees like monkeys, and sometimes we’d fall out of them. Falling out of trees was half the fun of climbing them. It was also how we verified, once and for all, that gravity was real. […]
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Street Talk: A sneak peek inside my drawers
Every day, you people just keep calling and writing with the same question. “Mike,” you demand. “It’s been 20 stinkin’ years. Why won’t you tell us what’s in your office drawers?” OK, that’s never happened. As far as I can recall, not a single person has ever asked what’s in my drawers. It’s a real […]
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Talk of the town: Chromebook, Selfie Stick and other made up words
Here’s looking at you What the heck is a “Selfie Stick” and how can I avoid poking my eye out with one? Whatever they are, they’re all the rage right now. Everywhere you look is a photo taken with a Selfie Stick. If you had told me 20 years ago that one day everyone would […]
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Street Talk: What you do in the morning says a lot about me
I’m not one to brag. But this morning I had a cup of coffee in my hand, ready to drink, in less than a minute after I rolled out of bed. Fifty-two seconds, to be precise, shattering the old record of one minute flat. I truly don’t like to brag, but … In your face! […]
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Talk of the town: This, that and the other thing
Coming out of my shell Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been the same since I wandered onto the flats at Wolfe’s Neck last weekend. The man who went into that mud last Sunday isn’t the same man who came back. Clamming changes a man, man. It makes him harder. Colder. Stinkier. […]
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Talk of the Town: You can’t win if you don’t play!
‘A’ for effort This was posted on my Facebook wall late last week. The fellow remains unidentified, although not unappreciated. “About an hour ago I witnessed a man valiantly trying to help a small group of ducklings trying to cross the intersection of College and Russell streets (in Lewiston). The motorists blared their horns and […]
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Street Talk: Silent courthouse seats bear witness to misery
Friday afternoon finds me trying to coax words out of a scuffed wooden bench. Come on, bench. Just tell me a little bit, completely off the record. Nothing. The bench ain’t talking. It’s a pity because if these parts of Androscoggin County Superior Court could talk, oh the stories they would tell. They wouldn’t be […]
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Talk of the town: That’s some hat, Harry
‘Rethinking Auburn’s Downtown’ A headline from Monday’s paper. Yeah, that’s what I do every time I get caught in a string of red lights coming down Court Street. I “rethink” things, using an array of four-letter words to really nail down those thoughts. Trying to get into or out of Auburn some days is like […]
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Street Talk: Will the real Hardy Boys please stand up?
I think I related, at some point in our long, strange journey together, that I once desired to be the great boy detective Encyclopedia Brown. Even made up my own sign offering to solve neighborhood mysteries with my amazing powers of deduction and such. The sign went like this: “Encyclopedia Mark Now On Duty. No […]