A real sketchy character That crazy Bill Eldridge is at it again. He’s the freakishly talented artist who frequently sends in sketches based on my books or on stories I have written for the paper. Lately, he’s taken to decorating the newspaper pages themselves, perhaps as a means to save trees. This week, I received […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: A Man’s Guide to Hobby Lobby
You didn’t have to look at the man very long to see that he was unhappy. He stood leaning against the bricks just outside the main doors, smoking angrily and shaking his head in disgust at regular intervals. Every time someone walked out of the store, he shot a baleful glance in that direction, hoping […]
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Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Hop on, I’ll race you to New Year’s Day
You know how I feel about you, right? We argue from time to time, and there are days when you just want to punch me in the snout and throw me into the Androscoggin — but you know I love you, right? Right? I do. And that’s why I’m hoping with all of my heart […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the Town: Your holiday bathroom guide
News leak Do you know who has the best urinal in all of the Twin Cities? The Androscoggin County Superior Court, that’s who. On the first floor of the old building, in the men’s room (duh) the urinal rises halfway up the wall starting at the floor. The thing is so mammoth, you literally can’t […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: You didn’t hear this from me, rat fink
As a reporter, it breaks your cold, black heart. The man you met in the parking garage is giving you gold — tales of corruption, back-room deals, cover-ups … and murder! TIP NUMBER ONE for aspiring reporters: The word “murder” should always follow the ellipsis for dramatic effect. It provides a suspenseful, film noir feel […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Fah who foraze THIS!
Ahhhhh! Not to mention ooooh! I know I grouse a lot about Christmas decorations, but once in a while I come upon a house so precisely decorated that I can’t help employing sounds and exclamations that are most commonly reserved for fireworks. Oooooh, in other words. Not to mention, ahhhh! There’s a house on Webster […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Celebrate Monday, Dec. 8. Hey, it’s something.
I have before me information of such import, I fear for my well-being. Men in mirrored sunglasses, at this very moment, are parked outside my house in dark vans, aiming delicate electronics in my direction in an attempt to discern how much I know. I know it all, ’70s-looking super spies. And it changes everything. […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: Has anyone ever seen Anderson Cooper and Elf on a Shelf in the same place at the same time?
Elf on a shelf Oh, dear God. I had no idea that this freakishly gaunt and spooky being would be back this season, but there he is. Everywhere you turn is a photo of His Elfiness in a compromising position. Here he is being barbecued on a spit. Here he’s passed out face-first in a […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Black Friday a taste of things to come
The foreshadowing is too striking to ignore — hordes of crazed men and women plowing through the doors of Wal-Mart in a hell-bent race to the goods. There’s a meme floating around the Internet comparing imagery from Black Friday with that of the classic zombie film, “Dawn of the Dead.” The similarities are spooky. Both […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Talk of the town: Stocking stuffers that will get you booted from the family
I call this one “My back porch with snow on it” On Wednesday, the eve of Thanksgiving and the day of really big and annoying snow, the newish tradition of photo-bombing Facebook was underway. Photos of snow covering porch rails. Photos of snow covering tree branches, fence posts, cars and small children. Folks posting photos […]