My friends, the fact that I’m here to write this column today is nothing short of a miracle. I have been inside the combat zone, a place of flying fists and gnashing teeth, yet I’m still here to talk about it. Now there’s something for which to give thanks when you’re sitting around the table […]

Frog juice A nice lady wrote to tell me that she enjoyed my Wednesday column, but that her joy was diminished somewhat by a distracting story about blended frogs on a nearby page. We’re talking frog juice here, an amphibian liquid that can reportedly make a person feel sexier in just one gulp. In fact, […]

I believe the inimitable Mark Twain stated it best when he said: “Begin your column with a quote from a famous person and distract your readers from the fact that you’re totally going to the Facebook well again.” He was stroking his mustache and puffing a cigar as he uttered those words of wisdom. OK, […]

Brr and whatnot Remember all those stories I wrote last winter about the polar vortex and all the good times that followed? No? Me neither. Let us not speak of it again. When it’s cold it’s cold. We don’t need four stinking syllables to pretty it up. The beast is back? Does this sound familiar? […]

The scene was Mammoth Mart in Waterville, a store that was destined to become King’s, which would become Rich’s, which would become a vast empty building that nobody knew what to do with. It was the end of the disco era and life was good. You could listen to the radio without being asked to […]

Tweet twits In a pre-election poll, local candidates were asked what they would say to the voters within the limitations of the Twitter word count. Several of them remarked “I don’t Tweet” and left it at that, entirely missing the point of the exercise and blowing a chance for free campaign space in the newspaper. […]

Kingmaker So, Jared Golden was campaigning in my neighborhood last week and he stopped by my backyard to chat. Now, here’s a young politician who happened to remember my previous week’s column almost word for word. Very impressive. I’m not saying that this has any bearing on the upcoming election, but neither John McCain nor […]

So, I’m riding down Park Street in Lewiston when suddenly I behold a one-eyed prostitute riding a unicycle and wearing nothing but earmuffs and a two-piece … But, who am I kidding? I can’t sit here babbling on about downtown stuff. Not today. Today the Kansas City Royals are playing in the World Series, an […]