Just like last year It’s the same thing every year. I never remember that it’s Groundhog Day until I wake up in the morning (ish) and find everybody talking about it. That delayed awareness prevents me from enjoying the early Groundhog Eve festivities the way I assume the rest of you do. The rodent nog, the […]
talk of the town
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Keep your hands where I can see ’em
This, that and the utter thing So last week I complained, in a delirious ramble, that I never got a meaningful tattoo, such as one featuring a cow with a palm tree growing where it’s utter should be. Ask and ye shall receive, my bros. Some enterprising tattooist, who’s clearly been huffing his ink, sent […]
advertisement
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Did you see what Pa did?
The invasion has begun Those lighted orbs in Lewiston’s Kennedy Park are pretty and all, but they kind of remind me of the pods in “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” I’ll bet if I were to shinny up a tree and hit one with a stick, Donald Sutherland would fall out. Of course… If pod […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Christmas is over, pass the Nyquil
There once was a man from Kent So, last week I shared with you all a weird little poem I dreamed up while I was stoned on Nyquil or something. Since that little snippet ran in the paper, I think that means I’m a published poet now! I suppose I’ll have to start wearing an […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
My truck is ready to go in case war breaks out…. or a bull
You shouldn’t have Some incredibly nice person sent me a note along with a significant amount of cash to help with my truck repairs. The gesture is unbelievably kind and it’s another sign that there are still plenty of good people left in the world. The problem is that I’m extremely uncomfortable accepting money from […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: I can’t believe you ate the whole thing
The great sushi recall of 2019 Apparently stores are recalling sushi because of possible listeria contamination. A pity for you weirdos who actually like that stuff. I’ve only tried it once, but I can offer this advice. If you find yourself jonesing for sushi and your regular dealer won’t hook you up, get yourself a […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Talk of the town: Copied and pasted
Did you see that awesome television program and/or athletic event? I hate writing Talk of the Town after a long vacation. How in blue blazes do I know what you people are talking about? I’m afraid I’m going to have to take a look at your personal diaries before I proceed. Copy THIS! A couple […]
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: It knows what scares you
The paper chase So, you’re name is Greg or possibly Gary. You left a voice message for me on my office phone and asked that I call you back. So, I did what all stupid reporters do and scrawled your phone number on the back of a police report and then proceeded to throw that […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: I see the want to in your ears
The most important thing you’ll hear today Stop whatever you’re doing at once and take note. This is big news. I have a new favorite local pizza. I’ll give you a minute to argue with your wife about it over the breakfast table as you try to make a guess. Think you got it? Nice […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: This town stunk so bad, the goat screamed
Tell me how you really feel Last week, when the scent of chicken “leavings” wafted across the Twin Cities, so many people wrote me about it that I was initially confused about the nature of their unhappiness. “It stinks!” declared one man. “It’s crap!” snapped another. One lady complained, “It makes me want to gag!” […]